This is scary! I love scary books so I won't have trouble sleeping lol, you did a GREAT job on it!
Hehe, I love it when Leela asked "What was that...Did you just call me Richard?" That was hilarious. Now I'm dying to know what this was attacking her, I have a feeling that it's not God, maybe it's Richard in a new form? I don't know I can't wait for the next! You have wonderful endings just like in Ch. and I'm trying to keep hold of clues so I can predict things for later!
Now I'm a huge fan of Pro.!
Keep at it!
~Rieda
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
I think I like this more than Ch, in fact I certainly did until the "It was tall and hairy. Its arms and legs bulged with veins, its snout wrinkled. The eyes were bright yellow. " thing came out. Too werewolf for me, and I've never been fond of those. But otherwise, who doesn't love crazy religious murderers who hear voices?
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
Yes, it was indeed very interesting. What dettie should have said was, who doesnt love crazy religious murderers who hear voices that are actually real? That, was the clincher for me.
However, the werewolf thing. So not a good move. I think it would be better if the transformation was within rather then physical/ you know something inside him snaps and he changes ... something thats obvious in his bearing but not like what you've done lol. But thats just me.
Werewolves are cool... especially if you want to go more fantasy style.
Yeah, I suppose it is scary... but not a whole lot phases me. Well written though. On to the next one....
It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.
Oh dear, this is going to be a sad reveiw. I followed it up until the description of the being at the end, but when I read that it had a snout, all I could imagine was a pig snout, and that made me crack up. Then again, I was reading this in the light of day, with people bustling around; had it been two in the morning, it might have been a little creepier. Oops, this is not the constructive criticism one should be mentioning in a review, but these are my honest thoughts .
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