Dove

Dove

White bird flying through the air,
Wings wide open spreading goodness everywhere.
Olive branch in beak,
Travelling to every peak.

But what is this oh little dove,
I cannot fell your peace and love.
Your work is being hindered oh,
I cannot see you, white as snow.

Does sadness fill your heart and soul,
When pain is present from adult to foul.
Have you given up sweet bird,
Is it, for you, prefered.

Dove of sweetness, shine for me,
I have the door but have no key.
I am being consumed by hate,
Is sadness, pain, grief and suffering my fate.

White bird flying through the air,
Wings wid open spreading goodness everywhere.
Olive brach on ground,
Your mournful cry the only sound.

Do not abandon your work little dove,
For were would we be without your love.
Let me see you bird of hope,
For if I see you I know I could cope.

Bird of Hope,
Bird of Love.
Bird of Peace,
Oh, little Dove.

"White bird flying through the air,
Wings wide open spreading goodness everywhere.
Olive branch in beak,
Travelling to every peak. "

I would break up the second line, put a comma after "open" and make "spreading goodness everywhere" a separate line. Also, "traveling" is spelled with one l. I spell that wrong all the time.


"But what is this oh little dove,
I cannot fell your peace and love.
Your work is being hindered oh,
I cannot see you, white as snow."

I liked this stanza, it flows very nicely. Again, you need commas; one after "this" in the first line and after "hindered" in line 3.

"Does sadness fill your heart and soul,
When pain is present from adult to foul.
Have you given up sweet bird,
Is it, for you, prefered. "

This stanza doesn't quite rhyme... "soul" and "foul" look like they should rhyme, but don't. "preferred" needs another r... and there are some punctuation errors. But I understood what you were saying here...

I could keep going, but I'd feel like I was being redundant. Most of this rhymes quite well, I particularly liked the rhyming in the last stanza. In a few places the rhyme sounded forced.

This would read much more smoothly if you corrected the punctuation errors I pointed out, and there are a few more as well. I believe that the content of your poem is more important than punctuation and grammar, but still.

Maybe you could try to think of a more creative title? "Dove" fits the theme of your poem but isn't very interesting. Try to think of something that intrigues the reader.

As for the poem as a whole, it wasn't the most original thing I've ever read, but I liked some of it... there were definitely some good things. For instance, I liked the image of the fallen olive leaf in stanza 5. I think there was real emotion in this poem, even if the dove metaphor has been used before. You have a good piece here, and it has the potential to be better.

Let me know if anything in this critique was confusing.