Sonnet 1 - On a Lost Love

Tonight I lie awake, thinking of thee,
But mostly wond'ring why I let thee go.
Thy heart was nearly mine! I did not see
The truth, because I loved another so.
How could I have missed the omens and signs
That told me of thy true love and intent?
Thou art too noble, talented and kind,
For my time to have been thus wrongly spent.
But gracious God has gi'en me second chance!
Sep'ration curtailed by the hands of fate,
Thou hadst captured me then with just a glance.
Starting anew, perhaps it's not too late!

Prithee, my dear, forgive me for the past,
For 'thin me, thou shalt find a love to last.

The only thing I don't like about this is "signals and signs". I know that the redundancy adds to the effect but I feel that this is beyond redundancy, they are basically the same word. I'd like that line better with a different word there.

Apart from that it was brilliant.

I like it, though I can't necessarily relate, because, being thirteen and all, never been in love. I do agree with Ofour about the "signals and signs" bit. I would have used the word "omens", which sounds a little mystical but fits the rhythm. Just a friendly suggestion.

I'm also wondering- how long does it take to write a sonnet? I've written poetry before -"The Sun Bird" doesn't really fit into any frame, I think - but never attempted a sonnet, though I'm considering it after reading this.

Out of ten, I would give it a nine. Beautifully written

~Sumi

I think this was beautifull y written. I have also never written a sonnet before, and I think it must have taken considerable talent to write this one. I admire the way you kept up the rhyming scheme and could find nothing wrong with this sonnet apart from that which has already been commented one.

Did I mention that you are my hero?

Sep'ration curtailed by the hands of fate,

Prithee, my dear, forgive me for the past,
For 'thin me, thou shalt find a love to last.

Wow! I love it. When it's not so late, I'll see if I can come up with something more helpful to say.

Chowder, be free.
Cal.