To Die For Love

To die for love,
nothing more glorious,
nothing more hopeful,
nothing more romantic

To die for love,
nothing more sensible,
nothing more right,
nothing more wished from me

To die for love,
screw sensible wishes,
screw rational thoughts,
screw waiting for love
screw expecting,
screw love,

But should it come,
To die for love would be the thing I'd dream of

This fails as a poem for me because it's just a list of Hallmark phrases and hackneyed language.

Why not make it more personal? Ask, "Would you die for me?" Ask yourself, "Would I die for love?" and include some specific life experiences, specific images, things that will draw the reader in and make the reader say, "I get it!" Abstract language does not do that.

Colleen

EDIT: Poll=annoying.

*CLAPPING ENTHUSIASTICALLY*

I LOVE THIS!! Don't we all feel this way sometimes? I really think the structure of the poem is great. I've written several like it, myself. Anyway, I also like the way you rhymed the last two lines. It makes the theme of the poem, and even the poem itself, more memorable. It sort of ties up everything that was in the poem, while putting a little twist or surprise ending on it. The only thing I might change is the tad of passive voice in the second stanza (". . . from me"). But if it fits for you and you intendied it that way, then it's fine. Really good material. Keep up the good work!

I liked this. I liked how you explained your exact thoughts on love. I really thought this was good, but you repeated the same thing over again in different words. And "Screw" should be used a lot less to have the reader see your point. Other than that, it's good. Keep up the good work.

-Rick

resurectedauthor5 wrote:ya i luv it 2 its how i fel sumtims

^^^Type in English please.

It was an OK poem to me, it wasn't the best but I can aggree I feel like that sometimes.

I think saying SCREW so many times, and using the same words over and over again got repetitive in a not so good way. So... change screw and find bigger better words.