Interesting storey... it's nice to see something from a different perspective.
"jon looked at kyle when he didnt think jon was looking" makes no sense. did you mean when he thought KYLE wasn't looking?
It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.
Chooky, I think he means that Jon looked at Kyle when he didn't think Jon was looking." as in, "he" stands for Kyle. "Jon looked at Kyle when he didn't think Kyle was looking."....that's the way I took it at least.
Great Brad! I always love the flashbacks and seeing the past chemistry of Jon and Kyle. They were so good together, it's terrible that they aren't anymore, when you look at the perspective they're in now.
And(you're probably getting tired of hearing this, lol) I love the ending. You're making it so, the reader is excited and whoaed by the mystery...while bringing in such strong feelings many readers can relate too. You're a wonderful writer!
Great Job!
~Rieda
I love, love.
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