Running from yourself --Part Two--

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:!: WARNING: This is the unedited second part. To view the story in whole, and correct, visit the first installation!!!! :!:

“They're going to take her away,” Emily said, she was pacing the room, Dr. Creling stood off to the side, out of Emily's line of sight.

“Emily,” Dr. Creling started.

“I know it, Helen told me, you want her to go home, and your going to keep me here,” Emily threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

“I'm going to be honest with you Emily, you and Helen are sick, and we're doing everything in our power to make you better.”

“Like you made Lily better,” Emily said viciously, “turning her against us, she hasn't talked to us in weeks.”

“I think Lily went home,” Dr. Creling said.

“You think?”

“I only know as much as you do Emily.”

“Your supposed to know more!” Emily spun around and faced away from Dr. Creling.

“How can I trust a therapist who doesn't even know anything? How can I trust what you say?”

“Emily, be your own therapist,” Dr. Creling said.

“Why do you always talk like that? In riddles and phrases that
mean nothing to anybody other than you?” Emily's voice climbed a few octaves.

“You know what I mean Emily, deep down inside. I can't tell you, you have to find out for yourself otherwise it will all be for none,” Dr. Creling matched Emily's pitch.

“What will be all for none?”

“Everything, Emily. Everything.”

The two stood, Emily avoided looking at Dr. Creling and kept her eyes to the side of the room. Finally she faced the wall where Dr. Creling had been standing, but nobody was there.

“Doctor,” Emily said, there was no answer.

“Hello?” The voice of an eight year old boy cut into the air.

“Who are you?” Emily asked.

“I'm Derick, do you know where I am?”

“Your in Dr. Creling's office,” Emily answered, “I'm Emily.”

“Whose Dr. Creling?” Derick asked.

“She's my therapist,” Emily said.

“Why do you see a therapist?”

“Because,” Emily answered.

“Because why?” Derick pried.

“Just because!” Emily yelled.

“Are you crazy?” The boy asked.

“I'm not crazy! Go away, leave me alone!” Emily spun around but nobody was there, Derick was gone. She sunk to the ground, hugging her knees, tears fell from her eyes soaking her pants.

“Emily?” The door opened and a man poked his head in. It was the man who wore the white scrubs.

“Doctor,” Emily said.

“What's wrong Emily?” The man asked.

“Nothing, I'm fine,” Emily said, to tired to put up any more fights.

“Your parents are here Emily,” The doctor walked into the room slowly, and bent down to help Emily stand, he led her to the door, where she stopped.

“Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Am I crazy?”

“No, your not crazy,” The man said as he led her out of the room and down the hall.

The swinging door to the visitors room was the only color in this section of the hospital, bright blue, a beacon to those going toward it. The color in an ever white world.

The man led Emily into the most colorful room, the visitors room. It was filled with brightly colored comfortable sofas and rugs, toys for younger children and books. Guardians sat with their friends and family, more doctors and nurses hovered around the room always ready for trouble.

Emily was seated across from a middle aged couple, they stared at her bedraggled appearance as if she were a disease.

“Here you go Emily,” the man put a slight emphasis on her name, “be good now.” He walked away, Emily's parents gave him a nod of thanks.

“How are you?” the woman asked slowly, Emily didn't answer.

“Emily,” the man said, his voice held authority. Emily studied his peppered gray hair and kind blue eyes, still she said nothing.

“Talk to them Emily,” Helen said from behind her.

“I cant,” Emily said.

“Why not?”

“I just...cant.”

The man was staring at Emily curiously, “Emily, who are you talking to?”

“This is Helen,” Emily motioned behind her, the man and woman looked around the room.

“Honey,” The woman began, the doctor in white scrubs interfered before she could finish.

“Emily, this nurse is going to take you back to your room, I'll be there shortly,” he said.

“But,” Emily looked at her parents, the doctor nodded.

“I know,” he said, “but they can only stay for so long.”

“It's okay Emily, I'll go with you,” Helen said. Emily's mom gasped.

The doctor in white scrubs called a nurse over and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and took Emily's arm loosely.

“Lets go honey,” Emily nodded and followed.

“Emily, it'll be okay,” Helen said from beside her. Emily nodded and tried to blink away the tears.

The nurse dropped them off in their room, the click of the door locking echoed. Emily sat on her bed with her head buried in the pillow.

“Helen,” she began, turning her head toward the wall.

“Yeah,” Helen asked.

“Am I crazy?”

“No, Em. Your not crazy,” Helen said.

“Then why am I here, why did my parents look so scared?”

“I don't know.”

“Girls,” Dr. Creling's voice came into the conversation.

“Hello Doctor,” they said at the same time.

“Lily,” Dr. Creling said.

“Yes,” Lily's voice joined.

“Lily,” Helen asked with astonishment.

“I'm sorry Helen, I got scared, they said I was crazy,” Lily said.

“They're saying that to us to,” Emily said.

“I told you,” the eight year old boy Derick joined.

“Whose that?” Helen asked, jumping back.

“Derick,” Emily answered, “He says we're crazy.”

“Why?” Helen asked.

“Just hear each other out,” Dr. Creling said.

“You know, tell us what's going on,” Emily said.

“I cant Emily, I told you, you can only find out whats going on
on your own.”

“I'm not crazy,” Helen said.

“They told me I was crazy, and I believed them,” Lily said.

“What happened?” Emily asked.

“I don't remember, one minute I was talking to Dr. Red and
then I was here,” she said.

“Whose Dr. Red?” Helen asked.

“He's your Doctor,” Dr. Creling answered.

“Your our doctor,” Emily said.

“Dr. Creling can't possibly be your Doctor,” Derick said.

“Why not?” Emily asked.

“Just look around you,” the boy said.

“No, don't!” Dr. Creling said.

“They wont listen any other way,” Derick said.

“Then they wont know,” Dr. Creling said.

“They have to want to know the truth to believe it,” Lily said.

“How did you come back Lily?” Derick asked.

“I was never gone,” Lily said.

Emily buried her head in the pillows, trying to dampen the
voices of those around her, but they didn't go away, they were everywhere.

“You were gone, for a few weeks,” Helen butted in.

“No I wasn't,” Lily said.

“What were you and Dr. Red talking about before you came here?” Dr. Creling asked.

“We were talking about...I don't remember...”

“I need you to think Lily,” Dr. Creling said.

“We were talking about...pills, I think.”

“Good,keep that thought.”

“And Emily and Helen. And you. They wanted to take me home,
they said if I took the pills I could go home,” Lily's voice sped up as her memory returned.

“I wanted to go home, but they said I couldn't unless I realized
what was wrong,” Lily's voice trailed off.

“Keep going Lily,” Dr. Creling encouraged.

“Me and Helen were fighting, something about you. Helen was angry because I wanted to stop talking to you, and then...and then...”

“And then what?”

“Stop!” Emily yelled, “I don't want to know what happened, I don't care!”

“Keep going Lily,” Dr. Creling said.

“No, don't,” Derick said.

“Lily,” Dr. Creling said.

“Dr. Creling, they don't want to know, it only works if they want to know,” Derick said.

“I want to know, help me,” Helen cried.

“Lily,” Dr. Creling said, more calmly now.

“And then...”

“Stop!” Emily screamed at the top of her lungs. She pulled her
face from the pillow and faced the center of the room, her eyes were held
tightly closed as she tried not to cry.

“Lily, tell me,” Helen pleaded.

Emily opened her eyes, and looked around the room.

It was empty.

“And then I opened my eyes.”
Last edited by JC on Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




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*

“I know it, Helen told me, you want her to go home, and your going to keep me here,” Emily threw her hands up in the air in frustration.


‘your’ = you’re

Your supposed to know more!” Emily spun around and faced away from Dr. Creling
.

Again, ‘Your’ = You’re

“You know what I mean[,] Emily, deep down inside. I can't tell you, you have to find out for yourself otherwise it will all be for none,” Dr. Creling matched Emily's pitch.


^^^ See quote

“What will be all for none?”


Don’t you mean: nothing?

Your in Dr. Creling's office,” Emily answered, “I'm Emily.”


‘Your’ = You’re

“I'm not crazy! Go away, leave me alone!” Emily spun around but nobody was there[,] Derick was gone.


I think you should replace the comma with a period.

“Nothing, I'm fine,” Emily said, to tired to put up any more fights.


‘to’ = too

“Your parents are here[,] Emily,” The doctor walked into the room slowly, and bent down to help Emily stand, he led her to the door, where she stopped.


^^^ See quote

“No, your not crazy,” The man said as he led her out of the room and down the hall.


All right, this is the last time I will point it out. I’m sure you can find the others if there are any. ‘your’ = you’re

“I cant,” Emily said.


‘cant’ = can’t

“I just...cant.”


Same again.

Lets go honey,” Emily nodded and followed.


‘Lets’ = Let’s

“Lily[,]” Helen asked with astonishment.


Helen asked, so the comma is supposed to be a question mark.

“They're saying that to us to,” Emily said.


Last time I will also point out the incorrect ‘to’. ‘to’ = too

Whose that?” Helen asked, jumping back.


‘Whose’ = Who’s

“I cant Emily, I told you, you can only find out whats going on [s]on[/s] your own.”


‘cant’ = can’t, ‘whats’ = what’s, ^^^ see quote

Whose Dr. Red?” Helen asked.


‘Whose’ = Who’s

“They wont listen any other way,” Derick said.


‘wont’ = won’t

*

Hello!

The typos are so frustrating! Lol. You should look very carefully through your work, a few typos are all right—everyone makes mistakes—but you do it so often in the wrong places.

Cannot is shortened to make: can’t

Notice the apostrophe. To and too are two different things [all three even sound the same]. And don’t get me started on ‘you are’ and ‘your’. I’m sorry if I sound rude but that’s just how it is.

Apart from that I was very confused in the end. Still a little unsure of which girls were real and which were Emily’s imagination and if the boy was even real.

You should have posted the two parts in one thread, together. They are quite short and comments won’t be separated. Read through your work carefully, this is, as I have said, short and you’ll find the typos straight away.

-- Myth
.: ₪ :.

'...'




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Thanks, I was kind-of rushing while I was writing...so I know that shouldn't make a difference but it did. I'm going to go back tonight and edit like crazy.

P.S-I do know the difference between your and you're, and to and too (and two for that matter, but thats obvious). Like I said I was typing fast, if it went through my brain it went on the page.

Hopefully I'll get it all fixed tonight...

Thank you!
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett



See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451