repost chapter 1

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hey yeah this is another repost but this one is on chapter 1 it is improved from the last one.


"AJ hurry up and get in the car." Amber shouts from the inside of an used dark blue ford focus while rolling her eyes.
"Sooo who cares I'm have tons of fun." AJ slurs out as she turns in circles.
"Alissa Jewel Lawson" Amber shouts but this time she is really starting to get annoyed with AJ.
"Okey dokey" AJ says then giggles as she runs into a street post.
When she finally makes it to the car Amber is tapping her long black nails on the seat. About a mile down the road Amber turns to AJ and snaps."What did you do drink five bottles of beer?"
By this time the effect is wearing off. "Oooh I don't feel so great..." AJ moans.
"I bet you don't. Well, it will all be better by tomorrow. Kay?" Amber says starting to calm down.
AJ gazes out the window as thoughts race through her head. "I'm not so sure about my life anymore or who I am, what is my purpose in life? Is this how my whole life is going to be like?" AJ thinks to herself.
"AJ were you even listening to a word I just said? Guess not. Well anyways, I want you to come to the cafe this Sunday. There's going to be this totally hot party, you better be there." Amber says in a strained voice as her temper starts to rise once again.
AJ just nods her head still thinking to herself trying to shut the world out.


When Amber drops AJ off at her house AJ sneaks into her house so she won't wake anyone. Then she rushes to the bathroom and pukes up everything she had even drank or eaten that night. AJ always hates her life even more when ever this happens. "Gosh, when is this ever going to end?" AJ sobs out.
She cleans up everythingand then takes a shower to sooth her hurts and so she can stop thinking. After her shower she goes to her room and lies down on her bed. she stares at the ceiling for a few minutes but she falls asleep within seconds.


That Sunday she goes to the cafe her long silkly nutmeg hair is pulled back into a ponytail. She has on a dark blue shirt and a black short skirt. She is not in the mood for bright colors in fact she has not been in that mood for a few years now. AJ looks out at the dance floor where Amber is dancing with her boyfriend Logan. She thinks he is a butt kisser and a class A jerk but he is one of the guys in her group so she would not dare tell him that. Logan has dark brown hair with black streaks in it. He is wearing big baggy jeans, they are so baggy that he has to hold them up all of the time.
he also has on a long white shirt. AJ thinks that when ever he puts his jacket on it looks like he is wearing a skirt. AJ looks at Amber next she has black hair with red streaks in it. She is wearing next to nothing. She has on a way to small tank top and a very short skirt. While AJ is looking at Amber and Logan, Josh comes up and ask her if she wants to dance. She turns him down flat. Josh is a very nice boy but he has an anger management problem. He has brownish blondish hair and is wearing a football jersy with jeans. Then she thinks of his brother Chris. He is a total player. He has blonde hair with blue jeans and a tight black shirt to show off his muscles. Thats when she saw him walking over to her. "Great just the person I wanted to see most."
Chris has decide that he like AJ more than any other girl so he starts to put the moves on her. "Chris stop that I'm not interested." she says calmly.
"But I thouht you liked me!" he slurs out.



did not have time to type the rest but will later
Everything is written in the sand but, it just depends on how you read it!
lot of love
erin
http://s167.photobucket.com/albums/u127/sufergirl_01/
you know you want to! lol




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From when last time when I read this it has gotten much better. With the sentences being space out it was easier for me to read, and I actually understood it better this time! Also I see you added descriptions to the characters. The story is much more interesting with these elements in it. Also the punctuation and capitalization is much better. This version is much better! Keep it up!




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Avast! I copy/pasted this so I will get to it tonight. :)



You may deem me romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein