Remembering

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Remembering

Remembering is bittersweet,
Like life, like love, like everything.
Look back on memories and smile
But feel more satisfied and cry
And let it all run down your cheeks,
Until your sorrow has run dry

And once the redness in your face
from tears has faded back to fair
Smile for all your memories
And no more sorrow will you bear.


I feel there's editing to be done but let me know what you think, thanks.




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I like this a lot. The rhythm is smooth and the rhyming is tastefully done. The theme is especially good, its very thoughtful. I can't criticise it.
ln(-a)=i(pi) + lna




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Yes,
I like this a lot I really could not find anything wrong with it. It has a great flow to it and it is pumped up so great job.
Everything is written in the sand but, it just depends on how you read it!
lot of love
erin
http://s167.photobucket.com/albums/u127/sufergirl_01/
you know you want to! lol




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This is really cute. I enjoyed it.
~*SapphireBird*~




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I agree with everyone about the rhythm and flow. The poem feels like everything has just poured out. To use a cliche, it's short and sweet!
Problems are like mould; if not stopped,they grow and spread until even the air is filled with the poison of their spores.




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I love your theme, I wanted a little teensy-tiny bit more.
It has a good feeling, it's not held back by rhymes or even syllable counts, even though you used them sometimes.
Maybe a stanza about happy memories broghtening up sad days? About treasuring your past forever, like a secret hidden deep inside?
It's pretty good as-is, but add a little more and it'll be amazing. :D
"The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky."
~Solomon Short

"We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
~Oscar Wilde




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Actually chocolate I think it would feel too soppy and too dragged out if it was any longer. I like that it is short and sweet.
And All That Jazz




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I really liked this piece... it flowed perfectly!!

Great Work,
Alainna
xxxxxxx
Sanity is for the unimaginative.

Got YWS?



So verily with the hardship, there is a relief, verily with the hardship, there is a relief.
— Quran Ch 94:5-6