Blue = Suggestion
Black = Review
*
She sat down, gesturing at the girl to do it also.
... gesturing for the girl to follow suit?
Her patient pointed at her, before doing this also to her mouth.
I didn’t understand that. Who was the girl pointing at, herself or the healer?
“We are heading towards Aleisyn, which we will reach in about six days time, not counting today and tomorrow, when I will still be gathering my herbs. And healing you-[”] Medea stopped as she saw the girl reverently shake her head in protest.
There is supposed to be an end speech mark.
“You[r] wounds still need healing. I did most when you where unconscious, but I haven’t finished. Healing is [a] hard business. If you catch an infection-”
^^^ See quote
Barely opening her lips, she mouthed the word ‘no’.
Can you mouth ‘no’ without opening your lips?
“Herbs only, though with magic I could ix you up in no time.”
‘ix’ = fix
“Oh, well, at least I tried… Now, back to the course of our journey: As I said, I am heading for Aleisyn. Or I will be, the day after tomorrow. I would like you go with me, though in your present state you won’t be able to ride of anywhere…”
‘of’ = off?
Medea pointed at a vividly purple flower which thorns seemed to be bigger that its petals.
Try: ... with thorns that seemed to be bigger than the petals.
“Its also called Larigon, but that name is used rather rarely. When one mixes its roots [s]when[/s] [with] those of an Eaglefeather – look! A Water Vine, right over there!”
^^^ See quote
She found that the healer was a fanatic when it came to herbs – the woman could find a plan when she, Isabel, was completely sure [s]than[/s] [that] nothing was there.
^^^ See quote
The day passed [s]fast[/s] [quickly?], only one incident disrupted it.
^^^ See quote
The moment Isabel stepped out of the tent, Chase started to act strangely. Looking wildly around and ending on rolling his eyes, the horse [s]started neighing[/s] [neighed] loudly and [s]kicking[/s] [kicked] at the sand [s]below[/s] [with] his hoofs.
^^^ See quote
At last Chase managed to [s]somehow[/s] free himself of the rope that was tied around his neck, and at a gallop rode away.
‘somehow’ is as hateful as ‘some’.
For the girl this was nothing knew.
‘knew’ = new
She was used to how animals reacted to her presence, how they avoided it if they could.
‘it’ = her
Stray dogs stared whimpering and howling at her view, cats ran away with hisses, rats and mice scuttled away as if seeing they’re greatest foe.
‘her view’ = the sight of her?
‘they’re’ = their
What interested her was they way how the other horse responded. The girl found that it was eerily familiar, but she could not tell why.
Either: the way the other horse / how the other horse
Isabel almost took a step back when she saw that the horse had pity, yes, pity, in its eyes when she looked at [her] neighbor.
When you say ‘neighbour’ do you mean at Chase or Isabel?
The discovery of some rare plant called Apple Bane ended in Medea talking about it for the rest of the day.
‘some’ = a
To her, Isa remained a mystery. Underneath the girl’s smiled an iciness his itself; behind those brown eyes there was hurt and something else.
His itself? What does that mean?
She cast the though of what they did to her at the Red Citadel out of her mind, just as all other painful memories.
‘though’ = thought
Medea, out of nowhere, appeared at her side. “Aleisy-” She stopped in mid-word, her eyes wide. “Liam!”
‘Liam’ = Lian
“Liam, I haven’t heard answers to my questions yet! How’s everyone back home? And how on earth have you been made a messenger? Where are you coming from?”
Again, you’ve spelt his name wrong: Lian
“But-[”] Isabel did not notice the meaningful look he gave her.
^^^ See quote
“With Carolyn everything is possible… You do not know here, she will use every means to get what she wants.”
‘here’ = her
Black clouds started to race on the sky at an unbelievable pace, swirling and spinning, covering the violets and oranges of the setting sun. Dark purple exploded on the heavens, turning into hundreds of separate particles which after a second of glimmering and shimmering fell down to the ground, each making an earsplitting noise as it hit the ground. Small wisps of smoke that appeared out of nowhere turned into a heavy white mist as thunder sounded.
I love this part, the description, everything.
“Carolyn,” whispered Medea under her breath; she too appeared to be unable of moving.
Try: she too appeared to be unable to move.
The characteristic atmosphere of tension did not leave, neither did the shades of red and purple which
You’ve left off without finishing the sentence.
Another figure, this time a dwarf holding hands with an elve [elf?], was smashed into pieces.
^^^ See quote
“I almost had him! Two or three meters more and I would have had him, you understand?!”
Do not use the exclamation mark and question together, here it would be the question mark that you keep.
*
I think Caro’s behaviour is something she should do in private, I mean, she is supposed to be the villain and would she really have a tantrum in front of her servants rather than do it secretly? She seems to be a tough character, her magic is strong and she has power, so wouldn’t she keep all her anger until she is alone? Does she want her servants to see her weak, an angry person rather than the defiant woman she wants to be?
I especially loved the description you’ve put in for the ‘battle’ towards the end and Isabel and Medea’s communication.
You have quite a few mistakes, everyone does, and is the boy’s name Liam or Lian? You use both and one is incorrect.
-- Myth
