LIFE

Sorry this is a rough draft!!!!


Love and trust
Is a wounderful experience
Faith
Emotional rollarcoaster

*blinks*

*blinks again*

...That's it? Oy. All right. First of all, the first word of the second line should be "are" as you have two nouns preceding it. "Love and trust is" is truly, truly dreadful grammar.

Secondly, "wounderful" is not a word. Just guessing, it's either some bizarre adjective belonging to an even more bizarre dialect of English that refers to someone who has been wounded many, many times... or you just misspelled "wonderful." Personally, I'm going with the former, and sort of wishing the wounderful person was me.

Third: "rollarcoaster" is also not a word. "Rollercoaster," however, is.

Titles in capital letters will attract attention, I'll grant you that much... but negative attention, at least from anyone who knows what they're doing. The title itself should be interesting enough to catch the eye without resorting to such cheap gimmicks. But, "Life?" Oh, come on. You can do better than that. You did, after all, invent the word "wounderful."

As a last note: this collection of words (I refuse to call it a poem) makes no logical sense, is incredibly vague, and is not only poorly executed but also an idea that should have been trashed upon inception.

Cheers!
Sir Fand

Fand is always a master with this sort of thing, so I won't go over what she said.

I do highly suggest you read this article, Poetry & Punctuation

Read it, love it, use it. It will help.

You're trying to sum a lot of things up in short words, which I have the tendency to do in poetry as well because I like short poems, but you have failed at entirely because you didn't use real sentence. I make my poetry short in lines, not in words.

Try using a format that I am fond of: ten syllables, ten lines. You can actually get a lot out, and its short. if ten syllables is too hard, try seven or eight (ten is rather long).

And, assuming you are a beginner poet, READ MORE POETRY! That is the best way to learn how to write poetry. Because this is not poetry, this is, to quote lovable Fand, is a collection of words. Read as much poetry as you can, even if that means it comes just from this site. You can find lots of poetry on the internet. Don't try to write poetry until you know what makes good poetry.

I think I said more than I had intended to...oh well!

Any questions, you can PM me.

like Clau and Fand said, its too short, and not really a poem. its a few words, yep, written like a poem, yep, but that doesn't make it a poem. these particular words don't make a bit of sense at all, especially the ones you made up.

like Clau, i would suggest reading a lot of poetry. there's a lot of good poets on this site. read some of the most recently posted in poems on this site, and read the comments that follow. try to understand how people are trying to improve work, and try to understand why it needs improving in the first place.after reading all that, go on to the next poem, and just make sure that you've read a lot. you'll gain a lot of experience from doing this. after a few poems, you can start reviewing some yourself. this is another great way of gaining experience, but don't just put one line critiques. try to go in depth with what you want to see. you start thinking about a ready-made poem, and how it can be improved. this of course, helps you with your own poetry. after posting your own reviews, post your own poems.

They have pretty much covered it. But what I can personally add in is that not only is it too short, but is sort of choppy if that makes sense. I suggest adding more too it and putting in punctuation to help it flow better. I have found that it will add emotion to the poem. That probably doesn't make much sense to you, but to me and maybe some others it makes perfect sense. Keep trying and it will be better. PM me sometime and I can give you a few tips.

Okay that was a good stanza but I hope that wasn't your whole poem. So If you can put it in a nother long poem.

Loath as I am to repeat the above, I think you should listen to Fand. If you want to be a writer, you're going to have do better than four lines unattached in any noticeable form of well, form, structure, poetry or anything else. Always remember to spell-check too if you want to be taken seriously.

Try building this into something real.