Cleansing

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Gender Female
Points 890
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I need a shower
to wash away the residue
of you

Exfoliate away
this crust
of old memories

Serenade myself
into oblivion
beneath the
gushing stream

Etch the word
with a damp fingertip
in the steam on the mirror

Goodbye




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Gender None specified
Points 890
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i really like it, the idea and the execution. though i'm not sure about etch in the fourth stanza because to me etching implies actually leaving an indent in the suface.




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Gender None specified
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I like it too, but I also agree with convintojm. Trace? Scrawl? I don't know, but "etch" does imply the wrong thing.

Overall, it was really good, and it flowed beautifully!
"A poet in love is best encouraged in both capacities or neither." ~ Jane Austen, Emma.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 324
i love this too! its so simple and yet it tells you so much!

i agree with convintojm and sky though... 'etch' could
perhaps be changed to something different...

read aloud, this really does flow... good work!




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 48
Thanks for the comments, I guess you are right about "etch" I might change it.



Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.
— Henry Wu, "Jurassic World"