Well, no. At one point, the dialog/action got weird and I couldn't see it happening (The fight) but eventually it picked back up. It was just awkward was all.
You write so well. I really want to see this on a shelf. I caught no errors.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
YAY! I've been waiting for this one and it was definitley worth waiting for it. I loved how you ended it as well. Kyle and John are getting pretty close, can't wait to see what happens next. This is what they would call a page-turner. lol. Great Job.
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
