Chionophobia #13 /P

3 posts
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Incandescence
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 915
Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:47 am
Incandescence says... · Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:47 am
Removed.
Last edited by Incandescence on Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson




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Riedawriter23
Gender Female
Points 4890
Reviews 516
Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:43 am
Riedawriter23 says... · Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:43 am
This was awesome! I felt like I was there quite literally. I'm beggining to think you're a professional Incan. lol. Great job on detail and character developement.
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*




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Emerson
Gender Male
Points 32885
Reviews 2058
Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:57 pm
Emerson says... · Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:57 pm
She saw in him the uncontrollable desire to self-destruct so prominent in every man she had ever loved, and it made her sad to see Jonathon this way.
I ...don't really like the last part. Joanne or who ever suddenly got a boost of emotions that should be left to main characters XD

He saw the black hair licking at the back of one of his patient’s chairs.
Licking?


She began crying as she left his office.
I don't think 'began' fits here, because she was already crying before.. 'began again' might work though.

I can see Sarah and Jons relationship between the lines, you say so little but I see so much. Love it.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

3 posts


i like that the title of dr jekyll and mr hyde makes a clear stance that the embodiment of one’s own evil doesn’t get a claim to the doctorate
— waywardxwallflower