Female voices are too gentle to boom. Unless she's manly. (I felt like making a joke, the actual comment is arbitrary)
Yeah, no complaints. I liked it.
I can see everything falling into place. The cell phone, the punch, the picture, the silence. It's falling together better then you think; the average reader would have gotten to this quick enough to ignore what ever imagined errors you think are in the beginning. It's good, Brad, It really is
I thought the old lady was her mom but... I have reading problems.
I'd point out all the little things I liked, but I feel I might be getting a little...annoying? lol. And, It's too late. I should really be in bed, trying to sleep.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
This was wonderful. There's that thing with Kyle and Sarah and that thing with Kyle and Jon and that thing with Kyle and______everyone else! I think you're putting the story together great. And the way you end these posts every time is just___ inspirational! I love it! Keep writing. Love ya!
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
Ah, talkative old women. Classic. Yay, things are falling into place! I'm so behind. I really must catch up on these episodes.
No real comments here. This chapter didn't do much for me except to offer a little insight into the character of Sarah. She's nice, but a fairly typical beautiful-girl figure.
I understood the biology references! I know what ATP and apoptosis are!
Colleen
"My pet, I've been to the devil, and he's a very dull fellow. I won't go there again, even for you..."
