Child

Wow! Clauds this is really powerfull! I really like it, it's creepy like the others said and you feel a strange connection to the speaker. You feel slightly sorry for him as he realises what he is doing is wrong;
'And again I feel the compulsion to sin.'
The first line;
'Small and not five feet,'
I sugest maybe removing the 'and', replace it with a better word because it dosen't make sense this way. Otherwise Clauds I think this is very good, it's original and a slightly sick way of describing someone who is taking someones virginity. For once it isn't the person who is losing their virginity talking about the love he/she shared whilst doing so or how they hated it, how it was stolen. It gives it from the others point of view and this makes it interesting. Well done! x

Delightfully creepy. The only error I could find was the mispelling of 'peek', but I'm sure someone has pointed that out already

Again, as in the case of 'Act' - superb writing, Clau, set against a background of the shocking. It's powerful and deeply disturbing at the same time. The reader feels sorry for the little girl throughout - this is nothing, though, for creepiness, compared to 'Act'.

I can only imitate Liz and shudder mentally and physically - trust me, Clau, this poem wouldn't have made half the impact it does if the writing had been off. the images are so real, so painfully real - the girl, the sheets, the blood.

Disturbing and real - stays in the mind. Creepy, all right, but well-written. ^_^

The second batch of lines definitely adds to the poem, the imagery...oh yes. Keep those lines, Clau.

I remain incredibly impressed, and can find nothing to pick at in this amazing poem.

--Cass

Wow. wow.

I love it. It was on the creepy side, but a little bit of crazy. It was very good. I reaklly liked the couplets. That's a very unique style.

The part about ecstasy, was that a metephore? Either way, it was a really good line.

loved it, and ive read through all the critiques, i dont have anything to add. its just superb writing, and great imagery. very creepy, but that just makes it all the better. good juxtaposition between the "light" topic (the child i mean, not the sex) and the dark and gloomy poem itself.

excellently written

Thanks for the Critiques More are always welcomed.

Whoa. Okay from the title I really wasn't expecting this, and since this is only the second poem I've read of yours I was REALLY shocked...but then again, after I've been on here for a while, you'll find that I'm the same way, the only problem is that I'm 14, so yeah. As long as no one else finds my work that I know I should be great here. lol. I love your poems!!!

Yes, there's something ominous about this poem- hey- it got my vote!

Nyegg....I wasn't exactly creeped out, I was intrigued. I probably should have been creeped out, maybe I'm psychotic. It's very real, though~little kids are always wearing those skin-revealing clothes. It's nothing you ever think about (well, nothing I ever think about) but it isn't exactly wise. I like both the beginning and the end of it, there was just one piece that didn't seem to flow~but upon rereading it it flowed perfectly. The syllables even matched up! I am well impressed.

I thought this was a very good poem.

You managed to write about something quite controversial without making it sound too innapropriate.
From the title i didn't expect to read something like this, it was quite creepy...but in a good way that helped the poem lol

I can't think of anything else to say that hasn't already been said in other critiques, but very well done

I'm surprised at the way I continually end up getting critiques on this, one way or another, even though I posted it two months or so ago... It must be a good poem.

And yes, the title is rather devious!

I love how you wrote this! Good job, and everyones pretty much got all the problems in the poem!

Great Job!

I loved it. In my perspective, you show two emotions; Fear and Sadness.
Again- in my perspective of this poem- It shows society today. Girls wear too short of skirts, flaunting everything they have.

thank you for sharing this poem!

Once again another good peom by claudette. Rhme and Rhythm were good as is the description(i'm not a perv i was stating the way she described it not what she described).