Lets get free

Emancipate your emotions,
gravitate to jesus for he is
the one who saves, let these words
burn through like oral therapy.Stay true
to the ethics and morals that suit you,
for if they are spiritually gratified, you will be blessed immensely.

oral therapy? what does that mean? sounds a little sus.

A bit demanding now isn't it?

I'm not sure if this realy poetry, it sounds more like a guide ifso I wouldn't post it in Dramatic Poetry. I'd recommend you to read the sticky in the Dramatic Poetry Forum

Emancipate your emotions,
gravitate to Jesus for he is
the one who saves, let these words
burn through like oral therapy.Stay true
to the ethics and morals that suit you,
for if they are spiritually gratified,
you will be blessed immensely.

At this point at least the structure suits

Oh yes it sounds like your Christian reading through this, bet you are don't forget to capitalize Jesus, sounds rather tacky not capitalizing it and seeing through the meaning of this whole scene

Cheerios, Chandni

It's a good poem but you line breaks feel like there off. It doesn't seem to flow smoothly. If you fix that you'll have a nice poem.

thank you for your constructive criticism

This certeinly needs some capitilization--I'm a capitilazation natzi --capitilize Jesus.

Seven,


What's in plain sight is that your work is misplaced here.

At the very minimum, poetry is expected to show us something--anything. To do less is to insult your audience, and that's what you've done here.

Beyond that, you've provided nothing except the stock images used to describe the usual religious banter. Burns, music, etc. - the stuff of cliche.

With the rest of this, you're not providing anything that would interest anyone whose aim is to read good poetry.

If, by chance, you are interested in writing better poetry and not simply passing out evangelical messages, I'd advise you to do a considerable amount of reading "good" poetry--the classics, or what is "good" poetry here (it doesn't matter--just read, read, read)--because posting additional work of this quality is a waste of your time and ours.


All the best,
Brad