My Own

Sadness utterly my own
Only I understand it
But it’s possible even I don’t understand it
Sadness without a name
Alone in its shadowed mystery
A Great Wall of misery
Standing strong without cracks or blemishes
Sadness without an age
So old that dating it would be a task never ending
Sadness all my own
Without name or age
Sadness deep down
Needles of pain that draw blood
A serum of tainted feelings
Shooting through my veins
Sadness that breaks my heart
The greatest burden that I carry
All my own

Sadness utterly my own

Only I understand it

But it’s possible even I don’t understand it

Sadness without a name

Alone in its shadowed mystery

A Great Wall of misery

Standing strong without cracks or blemishes

Sadness without an age

So old that dating it would be a task never ending

Sadness all my own---These two

Without name or age---lines seem to be repetitions of something you have already said,

Sadness deep down---as well as this one.

Needles of pain that draw blood

A serum of tainted feelings

Shooting through my veins

Sadness that breaks my heart---used way too much.

The greatest burden that I carry

All my own


I like it a lot, though, you are going somewhere!

Great and interesting kind of poem! Really feel the pain and all the emotions you have. Literally, I felt it. SO consider my suggestions

Harpz wrote:Sadness utterly my own
Only I understand it
But it’s possible even I don’t understand it
Sadness without a name

Its a bad idea to repeat word/s just to make it rhyme. That's a suicide for your poem

Harpz wrote:Alone in its shadowed mystery
A Great Wall of misery
Standing strong without (1)cracks or blemishes
Sadness (2)without an age

(1)Cracks?? or you would mean lapses or enfeeble?? try to change that. [not so appropriate] (2) Hmmm. I also doubt on this. It seems you choose a wrong choice of words. Try to change this also.

Harpz wrote:So old, that dating it would be a task never ending
Sadness all my own
Without name or age
Sadness deep down

All i can say... "WHAT??? HUH?????"

Harpz wrote:Needles of pain that draw blood
A serum of tainted feelings
Shooting through my veins
Sadness that breaks my heart
The greatest burden that I carry
All my own

THIs part? I like it.

General, you should enhance your poem especially those whom I addressed not so good. Try and Try!