Not a poem, not a story

Drift along
On the sea of life
The cliche, the metaphor
Thats always used

Why do we make poems
Why do we express
Why do we write stories
In beats of soft, and stressed

A cliche, is over used
A corny pcikup line of sorts
Everyone knows them
Everyone hates them

This is not a poem
This is not a story
Not organized,
Not planned
Just put out there

You may not like what I say
You may care less
You could agree
You could just ponder

You can do what you want with this
You can say what you like
Next time think twice though
And then you can...

I'm thinking from this that you are feeling a bit harrassed, yes? So I will try to be gentle

Aside from the general inadvisability of referring to a poem as not being a poem when it clearly *is* a poem, more or less, I quite liked the concept behind this. There are some things I think you need to fix though:

Drift along
On the sea of life
The cliche, the metaphor
Thats always used

OK, first of all. This is kind of a boring start to a poem. Jazz it up a bit! And I think you need to tweak your punctuation (i.e. use some, lol) so that we know you're referring to the previous sentence as "the metaphor/that's always used" -- sort of like:

"Drift along
on the sea of life" -
that is the metaphor
we always use.

Or some such.

Why do we make poems
Why do we express
Why do we write stories
In beats of soft, and stressed

A few things: 1. Where does this come from? It doesnt seem to have much to do with the first stanza, really, and even if you connect the two, why do you revert to talking about cliches in the next verse? 2. QUESTION MARKS! Please!

A cliche, is over used
A corny pickup line of sorts
Everyone knows them
Everyone hates them

Yes, yes...what does this have to do with anything??? Your comments about cliches, while true, are not relevant to the rest of the poem. Where is the connection between (a) cliche's and overuse and (b) why and how we write poetry and (c) the fact that this is "not" a poem?

This is not a poem
This is not a story
Not organized,
Not planned
Just put out there

You may not like what I say
You may care less
You could agree
You could just ponder

You can do what you want with this
You can say what you like
Next time think twice though
And then you can.

And then I can what? This sounds bitter, but in a vague and undirected sort of way. If you are angry, spit it out! Make me angry with you! Enrage me at whatever injustice you feel has been perpetrated!!! If you arent angry, why am I getting the sense that you are? You need to change your wording and try to explore your real meaning in this case.

What is this "un-poem" really about? What are you trying to say? You need to be clearer before I can really say whether it's good or not or not.

Cheers,
~bubbles