Love Song

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*Written Content Temporarily Removed for Publishing!*



I'm not really sure of where to post this, because it's a mimic of a poem in story form--you can see how that would be confusing haha.

But basically, below is a story form--my story form-- of the poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot, which I will post at the end of my story.

I only ask that you please read my version of the sequence first, and then the poem--for I wrote the story before I read the poem and it was awesome to read afterwards.

If you are interested in doing this particular mimic writing and would like the guidelines, PM me and I'll send them! Thanks!








The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock


LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
Last edited by Via on Sat May 31, 2008 11:30 am, edited 4 times in total.
My Literary and Arts Blog

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date




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First off, your prose and description were beautiful. Apart from the one typo below, I don't have much to pick at. Nice work!

Let’s go for a walk” I demanded, for it’s not like he had a choice.


"Let's go for a walk," I demanded..."--just missing some punctuation.

If you don't mind, could you explain exactly how you did this? I expected, as I began to read the poem, to see your story paralleled in poetic form, but it was not so. So now I'm confused! You said that you read the poem after you wrote your piece, so how are the two related? *runs in confused circles*

Anywho, nice work. :D
"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk




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Haha sure. I actually did this for a class my senior year and my teacher, who had read the poem, wrote up a list of guidelines for writing our pieces. She didn't even tell us it was taken from a poem, and she called it something completely different. Basically the guidelines were in two sections--first you had to answer a few questions about your life, name some experiences that fit with certain guidelines and certain descriptors and what not. These questions were then used to formulate the second section. In this section we were given a certain sequence of events to follow--general events, such as "make a reference to something in your daily life that seems pointless to you" or "name a journey you would wish to take" or "reminise about something or someone in the past you miss" etc. So the terms were very general, and all of our stories turned out different because they all purtained to our personal life without actually being specific about the events mentioned in them.

It was so awesome, probably my favorite thing we did all year. :D
My Literary and Arts Blog

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date




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That clears it all up then. Pretty cool! And as I said before, your description is so yummy to read! Nice work. :D
"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk




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Thank you!

This was just one of the unusual school papers that was enjoyable to write!

Meg
My Literary and Arts Blog

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date




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I actually have kind of an awkward question for you guys about this....but there is this short story competition [the reward=money=important for college students] and I was wondering if you guys would classify this as a short story?

I'd like to enter it...but I want to know what you all think first. Thanks.
My Literary and Arts Blog

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date




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i would class it as a short story. does the competition have any restrictions on how many words you can use etc?
cause if your stories fits the regulations, i would send it off. i mean the worst that can happen is that you don't win and you've lost the price of a stamp. which really isn't that bad.

by the way, i liked the story. it had really great description, althou it took me awhile 2 get what it was on about. but thats just because i am slightly dense when it comes to interpretating poetry in the right way.
H. Edwards



Poetry and prayer are very similar.
— Carol Ann Duffy