First 300 words!

So, in this publishing forum, what querying authors will do is share their query, along with their first 300 words of their novel, and ask for review. The idea being, the first 300 words is the first page of the novel, so does it hook/ capture people's interest?

Anyway, what are the first 300 words of your story? Share it here!

Hi Snoink,

thanks for the opportunity. I may not write novels for publishing but I still value my stories deeply. I hope you'll also share the first 300 words of yours soon ^^

So these are the first ~300 words of the story I posted here. With catching the flu over NovMo, I kinda stopped... working on its 3rd chapter @.@


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The radio sputters, a sweep of static drowning out the usual chatter. Then nothing. A glance at the display shows connection lost. Fuck.
I ignore all instincts that scream You’re revealed. Break away! and keep the Luchs on her steady approach. Her engines’ gentle hum vibrates through the cockpit, quiet enough not to disturb the rhythm thrumming through the bone conduction. The easy-going music gives a stark contrast to a situation that has turned considerably more difficult. Through the persistent headache, I refocus on the view in front of the Wraith fighter.
An ocean of crackling blue clouds builds vast valleys and unsteady towers as far as the eye can see. In the distance, the isolated dropship is barely more than an orange glimmer reflecting the morning sun.
Since the radar is still booting, I grit my teeth and twist in my seat. The headache doubles its efforts but at least I confirm that the two enemy fighters behind me have taken notice. The clunky Avengers cut their engines to drop into a turn. I’ll have a few seconds until they complete the manoeuvre. They’re all that’s left of the dropship’s escort, at least in this area. Far to the west, four more Avengers are guarding two other dropships.
Now that the tide of battle has shifted in their favour, it doesn’t take long for them to abandon their defensive formation. All four of the unwieldy fighters descend upon a member of Black Flight who also ignored her instincts. Black-Three’s cloaking gives out as her Wraith explodes. I suppress a flinch. I’m too numb with exhaustion to muster more than a brief flash of anguish. There’s nothing I can do to help. It’ll take me at least a minute to reach their part of the sky.

Omg, is this your NovMo, @Tikaya? NovMo is such a crazy ride, hahaha. Also, I clearly need more coffee because it took almost two paragraphs for me to realize your character was in a cockpit, flying a jet. What can I say? I grew up around amateur radio stuff, so talking on the radio do not necessarily mean flying fighter jets, hahaha. (You should continue! Action is such a tough genre, but it's fun!)

...okay. I have too many novels. My NovMo (my rough, unedited, glorious NovMo) starts off like this for its first 300 words...

"You look radiant tonight, princess."

Even without looking, Adelphina knew it was Lucian and that he was smiling when he said that, his lips curled in a half-amused, half-gentle expression. She turned to him and saw his face exactly as she imagined, though his black eyes carried a different expression that she couldn't altogether place. A hungry look, she decided, though she was not upset. Still, she smiled at him, gesturing to the seat next to her. "Do you tell all the ladies that, Lord Lucian?"

"Only if it's true." He sat down, swiping his hand through his dark hair, and gestured around him. Were it not for his black eyes, which looked strange, as if his pupil had taken over his iris, he might have been handsome – a thought that made Adelphina cross. He gestured to Adelphina, grinning. "Since you were sitting alone, your radiance was especially noticeable. It brightened up this shadowy corner that you were hiding in with so much light that I couldn't help but visit."

Adelphina smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Like a moth to flame?"

Lucian laughed. "Are we soul watchers that obvious?"

"A bit."

He laughed again, leaning back with a satisfied expression on his face, and gestured around him. "So why are you hiding in the dark corner, anyway?"

Adelphina glanced around at the gleaming wooden dance floor, full of even more polished dancers whirling about, and winced. "I always hide in the dark corners during balls," she said, flipping her hair back and trying to seem nonchalant. "I thought you would know by now, given how often you seem to find me during these tedious events."

Lucian smirked. "Still, I thought you would be in the ball, given the exhibit."

Adelphina smiled thinly. "The exhibit? You mean my sister?"

...I really should introduce Dahlia as one of the dancers. *pokes* Also, that gives me some ideas of things to add! But... I think I am going to wait a month or two before editing that monstrocity, hahahaha.

Until then I'm still playing with Conqueror Rising's first chapter. I've been editing it a lot and the intro looks different from the last chapter that I've posted on YWS. These are the first ~300 words:

Solea swore, staring at the empty hallway, tiled in black and white. “She’s late! How can I apologize if she’s late?”

Not that Alainna wanted an apology! For the last several weeks, her stepsister had avoided talking to her entirely. She’d even changed her usual routes to class so

Solea couldn’t join her.

Still, she couldn’t avoid this hallway!

Solea glanced at the lamps, still flickering with the last of the night oil. Then she fumbled through her bag, grabbing a rough map of the school she had sketched last night. The map was crumpled and the ink was smudged. Still, a quick scan assured her that Alainna had to pass through this narrow hallway to go to class.

Except Alainna wasn’t there.

Solea folded up her map, then fumbled for her pocket watch, wondering if she had come too early. But before she could fish it out, she heard sharp footsteps echo down the hall. She froze.

Alainna.

For a moment, their eyes locked. Alainna was as lovely as ever, adorned in a silken dress with her pale blonde hair woven into an elegant braid. Unlike Solea, whose dark curls revolted in the summer heat while her overstarched petticoats made her look like an overfilled cream puff.

Then Alainna groaned. “Not you!” she said, abruptly turning around.

“No, stop!” Solea cried, flinging away her map. Then, when Alainna kept walking, she hitched up her skirts and raced after her, trying not to trip on her petticoats. “I know you’re upset about the party, but it’s been three weeks already!”

Alainna glared at Solea. “Your Black Swan father possessed Theron — my stepfather! — and had him shove me down the stairs at my birthday party!”

“My father only did that after you threw his gift at his head!”

...yeah, still playing with that one. *flails* (That chapter used to be chapter 3, but I turned it to chapter 1, and I am still working on that abrupt change, hahaha.)

here's mine!! very first draft

Clare

Highlighting the cast list is my favorite part of a new show. Green for my close friends, orange for people I'm vaguely acquainted with, and blue for newbies, people I've never met.

Blue is a rare occurrence unless it's freshmen in the ensemble. I love meeting them, learning all their new personalities and wondering what they'll grow up to be. The blue highlighter doesn't even come out of my pencil case until halfway through the list. But this year, I've put an ice-blue line right at the top.

Which is extremely strange.

"Mr. Nott, who's Kait?" I look up from my highlighting to questioningly look at my short, teddy-bear-esque theatre teacher and director.

He sharply looks up from his messy pile of papers. "You haven't met her yet?" he asks.

"Nope," I say. As stage manager, I don't even bother coming to auditions anymore. It's the seniors' job to run them, and I've still got a year till that's my responsibility. And it's not like I'm actually friends with that many theatre people outside of theatre.

Nott shakes his head with a chuckle. "She's amazing. Apparently just moved from New York, though I'm not sure why, because she'd surely be on Broadway if she'd stayed. You two might clash a little, but I'm sure you'll come to love her."

I shrug. It's rare to get newbies in junior year, and even rarer that they get lead roles. Kim in Bye Bye Birdie for someone who just moved here? Unheard of.

"Is her real name Kaitlyn?" I ask. Nott, shuffling around papers, shakes his head, hard. He then puts a finger to his temple as if he has a headache. Which he probably does, wrangling up quirky high schoolers for a living.

"No, just Kait. Short and sweet, right?"

Kait. Who names their kid a nickname?

Jup this is my NovMo project. It has been my camp July project too. And my camp april. And basically all the other months since January too XD
I didn't give any hint on where we are so I don't think it's the coffee =D
I will continue, the entire thing is plotted. It's just hard to write :3 [Mainly bc there is no more action now and action is... kinda my strong suit haha] I do have the full first chapter posted here, just saying =D go read it and tell me what you think of my MC.

Alrighty, lemme look at yours now :3

@Snoink
Ohh Soul Watcher name drop! That sounds so mysterious!
And the last line is perfect! If that is the cutoff point, there's your intrigue right there. The only thing I stumbled a bit was in the beginning when you were talking about his face and then the face was what she thought but the expression differed. I think this was a bit awkwardly phrased :3 Otherwise, hui, I do want to know more abt these characters!

Onto the other one =D
No no not the map, don't fling it away @.@ <--- actual first reaction xd
Hmm I think I find the soul watchers a bit more intriguing. But I do like the banter at the end of these 300 words =D And I think I see what you mean when you say this used to be Ch3. Needs a bit more scene setting =D

And now @theromanticchemist =D
That one's interesting too. I like how you start with the colours and how it shows so much abt who your MC is. Was immediately paying attention when they put the newbie colour for the lead role. =D