
- [Eillur, Sordmar XVII]
There is no peace in death for the living. That is why we carve names into headstones, making immovable monuments, constantly warring against decay and all that is forgotten. History is shaped by the scholars, and it is for that reason I carve with my pen the names of the crew that fell to the storm, the waves, and the poison of bloodweed: preventable deaths, but lives lived to their last in glory. If any a soul could be named fearless, there is none, but these sailors fought to the end for their comrades' survival.
I am only here because of their selflessness. It is a debt I will never forget and can never repay.
Here, we remember the beloved and the fallen.
Captain Rufus Cato. 24. Ambitious, passionate, full of life and a true patriot. A son of Marcellus, nephew of Francis, and grand-nephew of Admiral Magdalena Seneca, his veteran advisor. He died reaching for something few dare to try; he found the courage to step into the unknown. To be rewarded with death was his tragic sacrifice, but we honor it for all that he gave.
First Mate, Commodore Francis Seneca. 43. Dearly loved son of Admiral Seneca. A father to his family and to all under his care. Charismatic, affable, and spirited. He will be remembered for all his kindness - that which he showed seen and unseen.
Commander Hebe Morandi. 37. Mother of four, loyal to a fault, and harsh but fair. She ran the tightest ship of the New Soliman navy with unflinching conviction and devotion, and never gave up.
Ensign Cordula Roche. 32. She filled every room with light and life. Fiercely competent and fiercly alive, she seized every moment for all the delight it could offer.
Ensign Josias Silvestri. 51. Fearsome, but full of care. He made every meal with love, but his protective spirit transcended his role in the kitchen. He looked out for the best interests of others wherever he went, and was the first to anyone's defense.
Lieutenant Macedon Palacio.
A finger poked his shoulder repeatedly-- not forcefully, but in rapid succession, like barely contained excitement.
"Hey, stranger!" a young woman's voice said beside him, with cordial cheerfulness. "You're going to miss your chance at the wine we uncorked just for you if you don't look up from your book!"
A bubble popped.
The tail end of a loud cheer crashed over him, and Emiliano's heart catapulted into his throat. The Cambios clashed bubbling tankards and shining glasses against one another in cheerful camaraderie, and at the opposite end of the table, Felix poured Admiral Seneca a glass of deep red wine. Across from them, Julian and Sir Augustine were already sipping glasses of their own.
The rallying cry: To the survivors! Finally registered in his ears as Francisca tipped a glass his way, half-full. When he met her eyes, they were sparkling with her big grin.
"Oh!" Emiliano said, flashing a bright smile. "You're too thoughtful, Francisca. Yes, thank you, I'd love to."
His laugh spread out like a blanket over the sorrows he buried in the book, closing it on the pencil tucked in the binding. The night was alight with revelry as the Cambios dined under tents and stars. Standing torches bordered the area, leaving the best light at the far end of the table -- his corner, until the interruption.
Francisca giggled as she passed him the glass. "Do you always prefer books to people?"
His smile spread wide. "Quite the contrary," he said. "Under different circumstances, I'd eagerly partake in the merrymaking. It's only that, well-" He clicked his tongue. "Today I needed assistance. So, tell me, who's the first person to avoid?"
He circled his finger playfully at the rest of the table.
"Hmmm." Francisca squinted thoughtfully at the company, tapping her finger against her glass, before pointing at the man who guarded the cliff side. "Have you met Ulixes yet? If you have, has he actually said anything yet?"
"Ah, yes," he murmured. "The man who offered to throw me off the cliff side if I so much as breathed in the wrong direction. We've met."
"Wow, so he has spoken to you!" Francisca seemed more impressed at the idea than alarmed by that threat. "That's rare."
"I seem to have that affect on people," Emiliano said. "Compelling them to speak, that is. Though I'll say the greater portion of what I've elicited has been of questionable affability."
Francisca made a psssh sound, accompanied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Ah, they'll warm up to you. They always do. You see Sertor over there, talking to Titus?"
"The medic and the unwavering smile."
"Right on." Francisca grinned wider. "Sertor's kind of a loner-- gets the job done, does it well, but gets grumpy if you try and snag his time without having a sprain or a cough to actually see him for. When Titus washed up here, no one would've expected Sertor to be the one he clung on to, and certainly not for it to work. It took a bit, but-- I mean, just look at them. They're best friends and the best part is Sertor can't even deny it anymore."
As Emiliano watched the pair, Titus was pulling an exaggerated grouchy face, saying something in a deep, forlorn voice that sounded like a playful imitation of Sertor. The medic rolled his eyes and visibly sighed, but Emiliano saw a smirk pull at his lips as he took a sip of wine. A fondness, both warm and distant, seeped through his chest at the sight.
"You all share a rich history."
"Oh, yeah." Francisca nodded. "I'm sure it looks like a lot, but you'll get used to that too. One day you'll blink and you'll be immersed, just like--" She snapped her fingers, beaming. "That!"
Emiliano grinned and took a slow sip of wine. Two days on this island, and now he was imagining a life here like it was the only option.
"If I'm to immerse myself," he said. "What is the first thing about me that screams: 'foreigner?'"
"Here? In the Cambios?" Francisca chuckled. "No one here cares about that, silly!"
He laughed, but he feared she'd misunderstood him entirely.
"But outside this place," he said. "Please. Just entertain the hypothetical for a moment. I've never been here: I do not know what sets us apart, but there is strength in understanding."
"Hmm. If you ever needed to blend in on a mission or something, then..." Francisca tilted her head thoughtfully. "Like, the accent is pretty obvious? Don't get me wrong, it's cute, but I've never heard anyone from here speak that way."
Sparks patterned over Emiliano's cerebrum.
It was the same thing Ilaria noticed, Aurelia chided, and Felix remarked about. He needed to learn the regional dialect of Ordadus, no matter how 'cute' his accent was. He hummed.
"How does this sound as a first pass?" he said, attempting her harder consonants and open vowels.
"Not bad, not bad! You're a fast learner." Francisca winked.
"It will take practice, though," he said, attempting to sustain it. "Accents are awfully easy to drop under duress when they're not your own."
"You're so right. You know what's good practice, though?" Francisca gave him a nudge of the shoulder. "Talking to more people who have it!"
With wistful longing, but less desire than he'd hoped, he let his gaze drift to the others at the table.
"Care to follow me, then?"
"As backup?"
"As a bridge."
"You got it." Francisca saluted.
- Lieutenant Macedon Palacio.
He was well acquainted with Titus and Sertor. Their friendship was undeniably charming. Jocasta was amiable as ever.
- 46. Francis' dearest friend.
He let the evening carry on in one-sided conversations. Asking questions was like digging wells: when he hit a spring, they'd speak freely.
- His heart was composed of nothing but fire and warmth. The most impressive sailor I have yet to know, and he saved my life without knowing it.
When he landed in the corner once more, it was when the elder Cambios began to turn in. His end of the table grew bare, and he reached for his pencil again.
- I wish he was still here. I wish they all were.
A glance up at the dissipating crowd wounded him.
- In a distant plane, I imagine Mar has taken them under her wing. Where the sea was merciless in life, it is gentle in death, and my only bitterness is that their bodies will never see the light. All but one of these names were the only ones who saw the shore: countless more were swallowed by the waves with their Captain. The crew numbered over one hundred strong, and I wish I knew all of them. How few saw land only deepens the weight of their loss.
What, then, do we do as those with the void they've left behind? For some, it is to find purpose in carrying on the mission of the Gloria Invicta. Glory, no longer in the name of New Solimar, but in the name of Rufus, and Francis, and Palacio. For every face the sea stole, for every soul lost to memory. But for me, my mission does not change.
Remember. Remember. Remember. I commit it all to memory, everything I possibly can, and I claim space with my pen...
"Missing the chickens?" Emiliano startled and looked up sharply, to find Julian staring at the page over his shoulder. He looked paler than before, slightly ill, but seemed to be mostly back on his feet. Julian clapped him on the back. Was he tipsy? He was certainly acting like it. "Truly tragic," he remarked. "One of the few birds who can't fly, at least not far enough to make a difference."
Emiliano closed the book, with his thumb in the pages.
"Julian," he said with a mustered smile. "It's good to see you up and about. Are you feeling much recovered?"
"Better, certainly, yes," Julian said, raising his cup to his lips to take a sip, then frowning. "Ah, it seems I finished it. Hm." He set the cup down decisively, then said, "You write often. You've met Sabina? She writes. A lot."
Emiliano nodded slowly, catching the alcohol on Julian's breath. "I have. She's been very kind to me."
A beat.
"Perhaps you should turn in for the night?" Emiliano suggested. "You still look a mite pallid."
"No, no," Julian said with a shake of his head. "Well, actually, yes, I likely should. She seems quite nice. Sabina, I mean. She has been kind to me as well. Seems the trusting sort."
Emiliano started to speak, taking the pause as a sign, but Julian turned to him so fast it almost startled him. "You know, we are all birds. And that's odd. Because I do not wish to be a bird. But you, I imagine as a crow. Or perhaps a parrot. They are quite smart, you know. And many can train parrots to speak. Actually, there may be a story of a crow speaking as well." Julian frowned. "I can't remember, and I can't say I wish to remember."
It was no wonder Julian and Augsutine got along. Their obsession with fowls was shared, though Julian's fixation seemed unwilling.
"I... want to imagine that there is an aim to your analogies," Emiliano offered. "But you needn't continue them if it pains you."
"No, no," Julian said insistently. "You are not understanding my words. Or rather, my words are not understanding me. In my mind, I mean. What I mean is, chickens, their heads come off, and we cannot put them back on. So then, we should just... stop thinking about the chickens."
...The chickens.
Julian meant to stop thinking about the sailors, then. To stop sulking, and cease grief. It was the same message of Francesca, through a garbled, drunken mouthpiece. He smiled thinly.
"I appreciate your attempt at comfort," he lied, patting Julian's shoulder as he stood up. "But I believe I should turn in lest I, too, lose my head."
"No, no," Julian said. "Parrots losing their heads, that isn't a saying. That wouldn't happen. Though I do suppose you could go crazy." He blinked a few times, then said, "I should likely be off as well. My tongue is too loose, and my thoughts are too... loose."
"Rest, then," Emiliano smiled, and tucked his book under his arm. "And don't lose your head, either."
He left the tables to return to the docks. There, he found the refuge of Sabina's boat again, and he entered carefully. She was already asleep-- he could see her in one of the two hammocks, on the far side of the dividing sail curtain. He took a seat at her desk with a small sigh and set his book down once more, only hoping to finish his thoughts as quietly as possible. He opened to a new page.
But before he could write a word, he felt the eyes of the world on the tip of his pencil, as if he'd earned its fixation. An image conjured in his mind of the princess, dusting sand off his missing page, and reading to investigate, and aquire knowledge.
How much had she deduced of his character from that tiny fraction? It would have been one thing to offer that information openly. He might've, under the right circumstance, if she'd asked it of him. But until present, they were strangers, and still much so. What plagued him was the fantasies his mind began to spin.
For a moment, Emiliano buried his face in his hands. When he finally took his pencil again, he began to write in Divitan.
Because he could not bear the princess reading this and comprehending, if his book were ever to be confiscated - worst come to worst.
- Infatuation is men's greatest distraction, and I am a fool for knowingly entertaining it. There's a special kind of self-loathing that comes with overindulgence of any kind, but I've never known one like this.
I am not of sound mind. Who imagines a life with a princess when surrounded by ghosts? If I could separate the delusion from the ship haunting my shadow, perhaps I could justify the skip in my heart -- but this just feels infantile and cockamamie. I find myself longing for a brother who would throttle sense into my waterlogged skull. Perhaps, if I'd been born to siblings, I would know enough shame to have naught a longing at all.
All I've known is comfort, and now I have nothing. It is no wonder, then, that the visage of a beautiful woman would tempt my fragile inner fortitude. I am no stranger to finding escape in something so meaningless as lust, which far surpasses the scope of simple pleasures. I did, after all, board a ship in hopes of making history.
By Sol's light, I am beset by a compunction so suffocating I may not recover. I am a worm, looking to escape into the dust. I have to let this pass. It is in great repentance I pray I never see Dame Ilaria again, lest my weak heart find a home in my vain imaginations - for I know I will never find one in hers. Felix has made it clear there is no room for mixture with the enemy, and those lines were drawn long before my arrival... and survival.
No matter the wrestle inside Ilaria's soul, I am the last salt-filled sack she would dare consider, not because of my character or appearance, but because of what I am:
A foreigner. And that is a crime for which I can never pay penance.
With no other recourse, it is suffice to say: Long live the revolution.




