.⋆☽ the anatomy of a dreamer ⋆˙⟡

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in schools, they often forget to teach you
that mitochondrial dna is inherited from the mother.
and yet, men have always held titles and
stand tall on their podium
claiming that they are the pens to rewrite
history, even with our fire still burning in their cells.

they used it to initiate war, draft speeches,
fuel revolutions that never involved us,
but they never once thought to thank the origin
of the powerhouse that fuels them.

men carry women in their blood,
when will we become the power,
instead of just handing it over?
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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it was so easy to think you loved me
and the delusion even dissolved beneath
my tongue (cherry flavored and sickly sweet)
clinging to the back of my throat, i always
had to force it down quickly.

i kept convincing my brain to release a
little more serotonin when you smiled
and when you wouldn't show up (your way
of tapering off my affection)
i always pretended not to notice. it would
stop hurting eventually.

i cradled you in my mouth
held you within me until i couldn't
anymore, you ate me slowly
from the inside out (i called it love).

oh how i wish i would've
seen the traces of your cruelty
in the placebo sugar you drowned
me in (i am still fighting my way
to the surface).
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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Holy shit napo buddy, you are ALSO killing it. So many good poems over the past week,

men carry women in their blood,
when will we become the power,
instead of just handing it over?


this is super poignant, and placebo effect is exceedingly well done in the portrayal of a toxic love. Some of the imagery there is gorgeous,

i kept convincing my brain to release a
little more serotonin when you smiled
and when you wouldn't show up (your way
of tapering off my affection)


but these lines in particularly I really adore.
Previously Flite

'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche

~Open for business~




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deoxyribonucleic acid is such a
cold, scientific name for something
so important that it defines us.

we carry stories in our cells
that we never got to read, only inherit.
it's kind of like trying to read
a novel written in a language you
aren't familiar with. it's
a helpless feeling.

we are stained by our ancestors:
a grandfather's rage,
a great-grandmother's silence,
we can still feel them at night
when it's quiet and the wind rustles
the leaves.

all we can do is learn the language
that they want us to understand, whatever
that may be.

all they want is for us to live
because they can't anymore.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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how do i pretend to act functional?
when my chest feels like a collapsing tunnel
when anxiety makes it hard to say "help."

or was it "hello"?

there is no choreography for a beating
heart or how to exhale independently,
people like me twitch before they tremble
because we don't harness electrical
pulses like everyone else.

every routine turns into a riddle and
i can tell you from first-hand experience
that the riddles life throws at you are
nearly impossible to solve.

i have a hypothesis:
anxiety is just a catalyst
that turns us into broken machines.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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wolff's law - (julius wolff, nineteenth century)
bones grow in response to the forces
and trauma placed upon them.


at this point, i should be grateful
for the hard-parenting that taught my
spine to curve, to cower.
resilience tastes like calcification:
scar tissue placed in areas of my sternum
that were never meant to bleed.

my vertebrae became accustomed to
the tiring ache of obedience before i had
a chance to learn softness.
when it happens over, and over, and over
again, you eventually become used to
the voices that crack like the sound
of a whip at midnight.

the surgeon in me counts my stitches
as if they're my own personal sources of
dopamine. my knees have been broken
for twelve years and the attending keeps
telling me to be patient.

its hard to be patient when you can't walk,
can't run. when you can't hold your own weight;
when the world feels too big to bare.

it gets easier every time i remember that
bones break, reinforce, reshape, and become
stronger than they were before. so maybe, if
i ever recover, all the pain wouldn't have been
for nothing.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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i love how your irises fluttered like it
recognized mine, like we had seen each
other in different lifetimes. i watched yours shift
in the glow of my laugh and i've seen them tighten
in fear, dialate in wonder, tremble in half-hearted
apologies. i fell in love with you not for your soul,
but through the way your eyes never failed to
speak to me, i became obsessed with the way they
widened when i asked you to stay.

the eyeball is the only part of the body that sees
without breaking skin, so maybe that's why i always
trusted yours.

i still see them sometimes in strangers, in mirrors;
in the vivid dreams of what we used to be. i wonder
if your eyes remember mine, if your gaze ever aches
from the absence of me.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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being brave can be sacred,
growing is an act of motion, too slow
for the human eye. there is
power in staying put, and there's
beauty in the stillness:
a seed doesn't bloom in one day and
bones don't mend in mere minutes.

the decision to keep breathing
is a loud act, and most times,
the body decides before the mind
(and we trust it, wholeheartedly.)

we are brave. still. balanced, you and i.

not weak.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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have you ever felt a civil war
beneath your skin?

my own fingers have traced old scabs
with the intimacy as a lover. your
skin cannot heal when every single
organ in your body has gone feral and
you are forced to watch as they dance
in blood, slow and deliberate.

they never write fairytales for
girls who go to war with themselves so i
"keep the peace" with (broken) treaties.

i will turn my body into
a church one day. fill my bones with
ambrosia, drown my lungs in vervain:
i want to feel the cleanse as it travels
down my spine.

finally, my soul would kneel
in reverence to my heart.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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we collided so suddenly,
you, with skin the shade of dusk after rain,
eyes deep brown like burnt sugar when
it crystallizes, curls thick and possessive
that framed your temple, protecting that
pivotal brain of yours. it's magnificent.

my boy is my rocket solar fire
the one who makes my ribs hum, and i am
his girl, the one who was pulled by the gravity
of his stare. pure opposites drawn to one magnet.

he bends each law of motion when he
touches me. my boy who smells like metal
and summer with his thumb pressed into the arch
of my back, hitting every single pressure point.

i didn't believe him when he told me
i was worth loving. the words were too clean
for a body like mine. so i waited for the lie to
show its teeth.

it never did.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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we are merely skeletons, or so they say.
otherwise known as the ivory lattice, a
clean representation of bodily geometry.
deep inside of us lives a sapphire-toned
cethedral, our marrow, where i've personally
lived most of my life.

spongy tissue soaks in bloody pain so
our calcium doesn't have to. my father
broke his wrist once, and they casted it in
monotone plaster, we all called him strong for
enduring the pain that must've come with it.

whereas, i have hemorrhaged indifference since
i was twelve, they didn't see my marrow flooding
from the inside out. then again, how could they,
when we create over two hundred billion new
red blood cells every single day?

the strongest part of me will always be my holy
ground, the crimson-stained rosary that builds
walls around the brittle outer barrier of my soul;

the pulpy, breathing center of me
my soul marrow.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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ischemia: a condition of reduced blood
flow and oxygen to a body part.


i was young when i first discovered it. i was
sitting in a classroom too hot for january, the
diagrams kept flashing on the white board as if it
was newly-discovered media. my teacher
had no problem talking relentlessly about
starving tissue and restricted blood flow.

i remember thinking to myself:
"how many places in the body
could starve before someone even
noticed? before someone could help?"

that same summer, i played lightsabers
with my next door neighbor. we were sixteen
but still had the minds of dreamers. our knees
burned, eyes aching from the sweat. it was then
when ischemia became a word to me,
it became my shaky hands after panting for too long.

starving doesn't always mean dying. that was my
main take away from that summer. it meant wanting
something, enjoying something so much, that your
body was just trying to keep up. and keep up, it will.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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for once in my life, i just want to touch
something and have it not disappear.
spending so long with your arms
outstretched, searching for anything to
hold onto plays a massive toll on your body.

now, when i stretch my arms, there's
a soft ache. but maybe if i just
r e a c h a little further
i will finally find what i have been
searching for.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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underneath my skin lies a network of forests,
arteries that of riverbeds, trembling,
carving out valleys in the soft dirt of
my own muscle. the ivy patterns travel
up my wrist, snake along my thighs,
distinct markings that smell similar to
evergreen trees during the coldest winter.
storm season will come eventually:
it always floods the lowlands but i adore
how it sends rain to each and every root.

the earth cowers to my landslides,
pivots to the way blood rushes to all
the broken places. i often compare it to
the way a river rebuilds its banks, without
a hand intervening.

there are always
gardens blossoming
in the most overgrown
sanctuaries.
“Ley moves and I am a couple feet behind, waiting.” - winterwolf0100
“Ley you will be fine because we all have magic powers that will protect you.” - WeepingWisteria

Ley, she/her
dreamer♡




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Spoiler
I particularly love ischemia. The storytelling is great especially with the third stanza. I thought it was going to be more somber but I was pleasantly delighted by the hopeful tone at the end. Such a stand out!
I won't go down by myself, but I'll go down with my friends
I'm taking back the life you stole
Came a time when every star fall brought you to tears again

-My Chemical Romance



A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man. I can see now why God portions it out in those little packets.
— Homer Simpson