ogygia ~ a poetry collection

holiday with you
i can't wait
to celebrate a comfy winter holiday with you one day,
listen as you laugh at my
eclectic clashing colors
(galaxy pants with cozy fox socks and
Slytherin-colored sweaters, or something of the like)
and maybe decide to change your outfit into something fitting
just for a laugh and to delightedly tease me further.

scramble, squeeze, scatter
i fill my bedroom floor
with the parts of me i reuse,
yet refuse to
love myself with the
ferocity and dedication
i use while loving others.
i placate myself with
accolades and praise
i don't feel that i deserve.
i romanticize my downfall
and laugh at the blood on my dress.
i apply pressure to every single wound
and i always manage to run myself dry.

b r e a t h e
what is, what is, what is, what is,
am i ever going to stop believing
in the magic in my breath?
i
hold my candles close.
do they burn or are they out?
is that smoke or flames?
am i becoming ashes?
maybe i'll drown in the thames.
or perhaps the river tiber-
that one seems most unique.
it's befitting of me to hide there
and never wish to speak.

arachne describes athena's wrath
she snapped
and the loom snapped too.
she snapped
and i think she grew.
no, she didn't-
i grew small.
for a moment i thought
i was nothing at all.
she smiled
and it wasn't
benevolent like the
priests and poets say.
she smiled,
and i was scared.

to live and dream
oh, to close your eyes
and dream of far-off places
held in both future
and fantasy

girlfriend
she makes me feel golden
with a single smile.
she melts my insides, turns them molten
with just one look.
one glance into her eyes
and i can feel myself relax.
if this is love, i think i love it.
please don't ever take her away.

selene
what of the moonlight
that gilds our senses
and breaks our
belligerency so thoroughly
that we have no choice
but to give into the wild
and be kind?

afraid
i fear
and i fear
and i fear
and i fear.
"all good things
must come to an end"
and
"no good deed
goes unpunished"
and
why can't
the weight of the world
just be gone
for
once?
i fear
most of all
that there is nothing
to fear.

mirror
i wrote,
you smiled.
i smiled,
you wrote.
we kiss
and it's a reflection.
we kiss the mirror
because we see each other
in ourselves.

safe space
maybe i'll just stay here
hold onto the ground for support.
pull at the air inside my lungs
until they twist and burn and shun
me.

ghost town
i wander through the ghost town,
flickering through the bars and
stopping at the cemetery.
i look at the tombstones
and run my fingers over the dead roses.
it crumbles under my feather-light, careful touch
because of the heaviness it felt before me.
i bow my head and let my spirit fold in on itself,
another rose,
another forgotten story,
another ghost town
left as dust on the wind.

loving to the point of burning
when she turns my insides
to liquid fire
and breathes love into my mouth
like emotional cpr,
i can't help
but love her
to the point of burning.

wind
listen to
the wind.
she shares a secret
for only your ears
to hear.

go ahead.
breathe her in.
her iciness is a front.
she is what gives you life.

saintly
smile
to stay
saintly.

fear
i've built up so much fear
in my heart and mind and soul
and it pounds
in every empty and too-full part of me
i try to suppress and lock away.
~
fear has a tendency
to build up
and crash over me
like an unwelcome, terrifying wave.