LSS: Total Party Kill

The party approaches a sign post:


Lorelei Black considered the post thoughtfully.

"They really don't like gryphons do they Honkers?" she said to her pet goose. Honkers hissed in reply.

"Yes, quite..." she answered. "We're running pretty low on funds though, and with the macroeconomic situation of this stereotypical fantasy world being what it is, we can't afford not to follow up on any lucrative opportunity, however dangerous."

There was a noise as the rest of the party arrived. From the road, they could see a nearby town and for a second, Lorelei thought she saw a gryphon peek out from behind a bush further down the road.

"Vanessa, did you see it?" Lorelei asked.

Vanessa frowned as she looked at the sign. "I see it. Though, I don't understand. Why would they go through all the trouble of talking about gryphons? It's not like they're a common creature. Why, what would they talk about next? A Night Mare?" Then she frowned. "Though, come to think of it, I think I might have seen a Night Mare. Though, I've never seen a gryphon before!"

"No, I mean, did you see the gryphon?" Lorelei's eyes gleamed with excitement.

"Where?" Vanessa asked.

"There by the bush!" Lorelei said. Then she frowned. "At least, I thought I saw a gryphon there. Did you see it?" She turned to the rest of the party, as if to ask them if they had seen it, but the rest of the party was lagging behind, arguing about something else, from the looks of it. Then Lorelei frowned more. "Where did it go?"

Lorelei raced over to the bush, which was a giant rhododendrum. Then she circled around it twice. "Where did it go? It was right here! It couldn't have flown away!"

"You were probably just imagining things," Vanessa said gently. "If there had been a real gryphon here, Honkers would have gone ballistic. But he doesn't seem upset at all."

This was only partially true -- Honkers was an irritable gander who was always upset about everything to the point where Vanessa couldn't help but think of her brother when she stared at the irate creature's eyes. Still, considering everything, Honkers was acting like he usually did -- that is to say, cheerfully homicidal.

"You're probably right," Lorelei sighed. "Though, it seemed curious all the same." She jogged back and then glanced at the sign. "Well? Should we apply?"

Vanessa made a face. "Saving the world from terrible enemies? No, thank you! That sounds like more intense work than I am ready for. Weren't we only supposed to be seeking treasure? Besides, if they don't like gryphons, can you imagine what they would do when they saw Honkers? Why, that goose is as crazy as they come!"

"He's not that bad," Lorelei protested.

Both Vanessa and Lorelei glanced at Honkers who, upon having the attention, immediately hissed at them. Then he pooped, wiggled his tail feathers, and began to preen -- all while keeping a cautious eye on them both.

"Okay, maybe he is that bad," Lorelei said, sighing. "But he's mine, you know? And, anyway, that doesn't solve our problem. We need money. They need adventurers. How hard can it be?"

“Can cost you your little life, missie!”

The voice caught Vanessa off guard and she spun around to see a old drunk leaning up against the sign post. Between looking for the gryphon and watching that ridiculous goose, she hadn’t realized they weren’t alone. As she regained her composure from being startled – at least, she was glad to see Lorelei appeared similarly surprised – the dirty fellow turned his eyes off of them and read out the sign again.

“Oh, yes.. ‘Adventurers Wanted’.” He spat, “ Jus’ ‘nother way of saying that ta bum got some problem he’s not willin’ to pay a professional for – or worse, one all them professionals have turned him down fer! Yes sir, just send in the novices and let them get chewed up like bubblegum by the resident dragon or menacing owlbear in a blueberry patch.” His whole body jerked suddenly, his eyes snapping back to Lorelei “Choo ever meet a owlbear in a blueberry patch afore?”

“Um, what? No?”

“Greenhorns!” the man cried aloud with a sloppy drunken laugh. “Gonna get chewed up and spit out. And looky here!” At this, he thumped the sign with his hand “No Gryphons! Ha! Let only the foolish fools apply. Couple of little ladies and their goose, mayhaps.” He seemed to find this quite funny.

Vanessa noted he’d left a large smudge of what was hopefully only mud across the sign where he’d been thumping it. Honestly, she still felt bad that he had been able to appear out of nowhere – how had she not noticed that strange smell?

Florian wrinkled his nose in disgust at the godawful stench. "Good lord, take a bath my friend. We can't have you making first impressions looking, and smelling, like that! Now now, that would be unacceptable! Oh, hello Honkers. I have heard many a tale about your bravery. My my, I haven't introduced myself!" Florian bows to the gathered group. "I am Florian, heir of the family of Florescu. It is a pleasure meet you." Honkers hissed, flapped his wings, and promptly plucked a hair from Florian's head. "Ow!" "Honk"

Lorelei's nose wrinkled as the smell of the stranger worked its way inside, like a thief into a house. Fortunately, the witch had a spell for every occasion, including this one.

"Here, swallow this," she said handing him a pill.

"Oi! Wha's dis!" the man said suspiciously.

"It's the alcoholics best friend, a hangover cure," she said. His face went from one of suspicion to appreciation.

"Choo know, I think I may've misjudged choo. You're quite handy to have 'round," he said, pocketing the cure.

"I've always believed that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover," Lorelei said evenly. "Now let's see if we can't clean you up a bit. Stay perfectly still." Then, she began to cast a prestidigitation spell. As she did so, his clothes were cleaned along with his face, removing stubborn stains and a good deal of the smell. Lorelei herself used it every morning to keep her appearance sharp. She took a step back to examine her handywork.

The drunk had been replaced by a man, grizzled in his appearance. His face was worn by many winters, and he wore a pained, yet mirthful expression. Lorelei had used this spell on many a drunk before and she was pleased to see his transformation made him look more like a proper human.

She was distracted from Florian's introduction, but turned swiftly when she heard Honker's battle honk. Her eyes saw a scene of chaos and she quickly realized that when Florian had bowed low, Honkers had interpreted it as a challenge. In a whirlwind of feathers, pecks, and honking, he had attacked Florian, who was fell over under the sudden onslaught.

"HONKERS!" Lorelei called. He turned and started waddling over to Lorelei, looking very pleased with himself. When Florian sat up, Honkers turned and hissed at Florian.

"What did I do?" Florian said, confused.

"I think he thought you were a silly goose and that was his way of putting you in the pecking order," Lorelei said. She looked around, but there was no sign of the gryphon. She turned back to the man.

"What's your name stranger?"

"My name's Jenkins, Lee Jenkins."

"Well Mr. Jenkins, since it is getting late, perhaps you can escort us to the Boar's Snout Tavern. If you do, I'll owe you a drink," Lorelei said. She had a couple more hangover cures handy, which was a quick way to trade for some coin in a pinch. Lee seemed to straighten up at the promise of some alcohol.

"Right this way," he said, leading them forward.

The Boar's Snout Tavern was a homey place with a blazing fireplace on the far wall and several wooden tables scattered around the room. On the right was a counter with six wooden stools. Jenkins walked confidently towards the counter and promptly tripped halfway there. When everyone had settled down, Lorelei ordered beers all around. After downing his, Jenkins called the bartender to ask for something stronger, but before the bartender could comply, Lorelei shooed him away. “Jenkins, we need you to be sober for this conversation.” He grumbled but relaxed onto his seat. “You know Jenkins, you look much nicer now,” commented Vanessa. “Yeah, you do!" said Florian, "In fact, you look sort of like… no, you can't be. Forget it.” “Forget what! What are you talking about,” asked Jenkins with an inquisitive look. “Are you perhaps Lee Roy Jenkins? The man from Taran who went missing seven years ago…”

Everything was happening too quickly and Vanessa couldn't help but feel alarmed by the way everything was turning out. She kept glancing at Lorelei, hoping that Lorelei would help curb what was clear to Vanessa to be a dangerous situation.

After all, Lorelei knew the value of discretion. She didn't advertise herself as a witch or go around announcing to everyone who she was because she was smarter than that. Lorelei insisted that she was a herbalist. It was one of the reasons why Vanessa didn't mind Lorelei's friendship, even if that meant she had to deal with Honkers. And now Lorelei was interested in associating with these people?

Not that they were all bad. She could somewhat trust Lee, that older drunk man -- he reminded him of an older, less crazy version of her brother. He had all the cynicism of her brother, though it appeared that he had turned to drink when her brother had turned to murder. She couldn't complain about that.

But Florian?

First, Florian announced himself as some fancy heir of some family -- Florida something? She couldn't remember. But as soon as he said that, Vanessa couldn't help but feel alarmed. Technically, she had been the heir to her family's estate after her brother had decided that murder was the answer to every conceivable question. But, even before Lord Triego had forcibly taken her family's estate -- though, he had called it "reparations" after her brother had murdered half of Lord Triego's family -- she didn't go announcing that she was the heiress to everyone. Being an heiress meant that she would stand to benefit from her family's death. The mere idea of that made her insides crawl.

And Florian would announce being an heir proudly? The idea made her sick.

Not only that but Florian was asking too many questions. Florian somehow knew about Honkers -- how had he found out about Honkers? And now, Florian seemed too interested in finding out Lee's story. If Florian was interested in learning about Lee's story, then how would he react hearing Vanessa's story?

The thought made her nervous.

Vanessa coughed and sidled up to Lorelei. "Maybe we should get out of here before something bad happens," she murmured in a low voice. "I don't trust either of them."

Lorelei shrugged, then grinned at Vanessa. "Trust me. This is going to be great."

"How?" Vanessa demanded.

Lorelei ignored her and glanced back at Florian and Lee. Lee looked thoroughly irritated with Florian. "You wanna know my story?"

"Of course," Florian said.

"I'm not answering you until you pay up," Lee snapped. "You the fancy heir of something? Prove it with a top-shelf bourbon!"

"Bad idea," Lorelei muttered under her breath, though she smiled all the same. Honkers hissed in agreement, wiggling his tail feathers in excitement.

Florian looked annoyed, but he went to the bartender anyway. While he was gone, Vanessa turned to Lorelei anxiously. "Do you want to slip away when they're not watching?"

Lorelei suddenly laughed. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for anything!" She pointed to the bartender. "Watch what happens next."

Deep in the dark citadel of Gor Nathal, sat King Reginald the Wrathful on his porcelain throne. He was deep in thought even as his bowel movements progressed. After years of being challenged by upstart heroes, he had finally found a way to make safe his reign. He had found... her.

Prior to meeting her, he had never thought that any woman would be smart enough to consider his equal. But Joana had special abilities that made her different from other women. She was an exceptionally powerful seer, capable of seeing many potential futures.

King Reginald was quick to see the value in such a skill and had commanded an entire regiment to take her from her home town and deliver her safely to the citadel. A couple of guards had been injured from a scuffle with some admirer of hers, the son of Sir Florescu, but other than that, everything had gone as smoothly. Sir Florescu had insisted that his son would be brought to heel and King Reginald was comfortable leaving it to him. Joana demanded all of his attention anyway.

He had only had her a few months, but she was already instrumental in steering Gor Nathal to greater heights. She had easily spotted the traitors in his midst and they were promptly executed and replaced with loyal subordinates. With these threats taken care of, King Reginald turned his eyes to the external threats.

The biggest threat of course was Gorn and his tribe of blood thirsty barbarians. Located along his southern border, they constantly launched cross border raids on his minions. Joana had predicted some of these raids and his forces had inflicted decent casualties in an ambush against the raiding party.

Then there was the Adventurers guild. Every other month it seemed, he would have to deal with upstart adventurers that would try to gather forces to overthrow him. It never worked of course, but it was still inconvenient.

Joana's advice on this front was a stroke of genius. "Send your agents into neighboring lands and have them hire a party of adventurers to stop Gorn's plans. Over time they will weaken one another fighting, and when they have depleted their strength, send forth your legions and wipe them both out." He didn't know why it had never occurred to him before, but now he was excited to see the plan carried out.

He concluded his business, flushed, then washed his hands carefully with soap and hot water. Then he looked critically into the mirror. He was well into his forties and there were signs of gray hair, not that his advisors had mentioned it. It had been ten years since he had lost Queen Floriana in childbirth, leaving him with no heir. The loss had affected him terribly, although he dared not show that to anyone, least of all his trusted advisers and he had thrown himself into ruling.

But his meetings with Joana had awakened something in him. She was young, lively, and intelligent. He admired and respected her abilities. Perhaps when he had defeated Gorn and destroyed the Adventurer's guild, then he could look at making her his new Queen.

Leaning up against the bar, Lee ran a finger around the top of the empty mug while he watched the bumbling lord trying to pick out suitably lord-worthy bourbon in an establishment which served nothing of the sort. His life’s story had bought him a few drinks so far. No sense in playing it too close to the truth with this lot though. Still, this ‘Lord Florian’ knew him by reputation – so he couldn’t stray too far from the truth either.

He turned his eyes away from the bartender grumpily sifting through bottles and turned to the pair of witches. From their demeanor and meager sipping of the beer he was fairly sure neither one had spent much time at a bar. Sally Dildally sat at a far table playing cards with one of her lackeys – she always seemed to keep a rotation of drooling awestruck lovers about, fawning over them and letting them defend her honor. The witches didn’t seem to notice her, and he had a brief thought of providing the introductions. What did it matter to him if this lot were the latest to be fed into the meat-grinder of ‘ol Crazy Sally’s delusions of grandeur? Maybe they could be dissuaded, though. The one witch was okay with cleaning spells… there’s always folk willing to pay for that. Less chance of being horrifically killed anyway.

“So, you lasses want to go ‘Adventurin’, eh” He broke in – the two had been muttering back and forth.

“Adventuring, no,” Lorelei clarified “Getting paid heaps of gold, yes.”

“I’d rather be a livin fella with some copper to spend than a dead fella with a pocket of gold, I reckon.” Lee stared down the witch and she huffed in response.

“I suppose a few coppers is all you would need to buy some swill and slop.”

“Oh, I think it will be so exciting” Vanessa chirped in, “And Honkers is really going to enjoy getting out there. He’s really quite fierce in a fight! When his bloodlust is up he is just frightful, but nothing makes him so happy. I think it’s so important that he have a chance to prove himself, you know? He’s so pent up back at home and it’s not healthy.”

Lee waved her off. “I’m not really thinkin’ bout your bird. I –“ But he was interrupted by the arrival of Florian with a bottle of something old and dusty but with a fancy looking label, and a few glasses.

After everyone had settled down again, Jenkins took a swig from the bottle and began to tell his story. “Many a year ‘go, I was minding me own business, when…”

THUD!

A hand pounded onto the counter hard enough to knock over a glass. A man, dressed as a sailor, looked over the party. “Sally requests your presence,” said the man in a deep growling voice. He was in his late 40s, and had a scarred neck and was missing chunks of hair. He was funny looking but intimidating enough to get away with his looks. When the gathered group looked up at him, he repeated, “I said, Sally requests your presence.” Florian burst into laughter. Lorelei and Vanessa stared in horror at the laughing boy. Lee promptly slapped Florian across the back of head and growled, “shut yer mouth, moron!” Florian quieted immediately, but muttered, “I definitely should have seen that coming.” The sailor gripped Florians's wrist and dragged him towards the far table where Sally sat with a shocked, yet amused, look. Jenkins stood, grabbed the bottle, and stumbled to Sally's table muttering, “Someon’ has to def’nd that blasted idiot.” Vanessa and Lorelei followed Jenkins to the table. Honkers, who had just settled on a stool, stood, ruffled his feathers, and hopped after Lorelei. At the table, Florian had escaped the sailors death-grip on his wrist and had sat down across from Sally. Jenkins had settled down nearby. When the girls and honkers arrived, Sally spoke. She had a light, happy voice but there was a dark tone behind it. One that told of years of adventure and danger. “I presume you are the new adventures?”

Lorelei saw an opportunity to regain control over the situation.

"Yes, my name is Lorelei. The young lady to my left is Vanessa, that gentleman is Florian, and the rough looking one is named Lee." Lorelei said, with a smile.

"Oh..." Sally said. "This is awkward. I had asked Jenkins to bring over that party over there," she said, pointing to a corner. Sitting around a table was a man wearing a one-man-band instrument, a sour looking male dwarf, a halfling male with a pet Ankylosaur, a half-elf female with a dark cat curled at her feet. An assassin sat next to them, and a young human woman with a longsword. On the table, the man (apparently a bard) was spinning a rod around on the table apparently preparing to press the button at the person it spun to.

"Yes, the mission requires at least six people to complete and right now, your party seems to consist of only four people. Maybe you can find some people to recruit in this bar. But I can't use only four adventurers, the task is fairly hazardous." Sally said. Lorelei looked back at the other party of adventurers. The dwarf had taken a big swig from his mug when a series of gems shot out of the rod, making him spray beer over the table.

"Is it a very dangerous mission?" Lorelei said, distracted.

"Oh yes," Sally said. "A jackalope has been marauding the neighboring valley. According to the contract, he has been eating babies, raping women, and spreading the vilest lies and false rumors. He also is supposed to have..." she said, lowering her voice "been known to talk in the theater."

"Diabolical," Lorelei said with a curse. "And that other party is going on that job?" She turned back to see that the various party members were now splashing one another with alcoholic beverages.

"Yes. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that you can just step in and take their place. Well, let me tell you something-" Sally's sentence was interrupted as a noise came from across the room. As Lorelei watched, the beer soaked party accidentally pressed a button on the rod, which immediately emitted a small, tiny flame, which then exploded in a gigantic fireball, engulfing the party and setting the room on fire. The Ankylosaur caught fire and immediately proceeded to stop, drop, and then roll, crushing the survivors. One of the cymbals on the one-man-band instrument made a crashing sound in protest.

Lorelei and the party immediately launched into action. She cast a create water spell, which immediately was used to put out the fire. Vanessa began to tend to the wounded, but even with Vanessa's skills, it would probably be weeks before the burn wounds had fully healed. Lorelei turned back to Sally, whose face was red with embarrassment.

"Well?" Lorelei asked. "What were you saying?"

"You're hired," Sally said, defeated. "The Jackalope's name is Boba Bojangles. If you kill him, then we will pay you a bounty of 250 gold pieces." Lorelei considered the sum, most people struggled to earn three gold pieces in a week.

"We'll do it."

“You realize this entire thing is insane?” Vanessa said to Lorelei quickly, hurrying after the group. “Why did we sign up for an adventure where the original ones intended for the mission are currently recovering from severe burn wounds? Doesn’t this seem a little fishy to you?”

“Simple,” Lorelei said cheerfully, trying to step around Honkers while Honkers hissed and attacked her bootlaces as she walked. “We’re doing this for money. Besides, you saw the other band of adventurers. The only reason why they blew themselves up was because their bard was a narcissistic crazy man who was more concerned with playing with his rod than actually doing anything to help his party. That’s all! It wasn’t as though the person who was coordinating this adventure was an evil villain who coordinated the demise of the other party so that we would inexplicably be hired, even though we aren’t really technically a group at all and we just got thrown together into this crazy adventure with really no reason other than the fact that we briefly met up and talked with each other before we went into the bar.”

When Vanessa heard this, she reluctantly admitted that the mere idea of an evil villain hiring their strange group — if one could even call them a group, that is — was pretty ridiculous. She glanced at Florian and Lee, who were walking together in front of them. Florian was talking a mile a minute while Lee looked distinctly annoyed.

“Granted, that would be crazy,” Vanessa conceded.

“Frankly, I’m happy that only Florian and Lee joined us on our quest,” Lorelei said. “I was afraid the whole bar would want to join us! Two hundred fifty gold coins to kill a jackalope? Why, they might as well pay us for sleeping!””

“Still, the mission itself seems ridiculous,” Vanessa said. “Why would a jackalope be guilty of those sorts of crimes? Consider the worst allegation of this jackalope: this jackalope is accused of eating babies. But doesn’t this seem a little far-fetched to you? Why, jackalopes are tiny little cute bunnies with antlers on their heads! They only eat grass. Why should they eat children? The whole thing makes no sense!”

At that moment, Lorelei, who had been walking quickly, albeit carefully, to avoid stepping on Honkers, suddenly tripped on a rock and fell face first into a ditch. She spat out some dirt and glared at Honkers. “Thanks a lot!” she snapped sarcastically. “Are you happy now?”

Honkers wiggled his tail feathers, looking entirely too happy for himself, and honked.

“Here,” Vanessa said quickly. “I’ll heal you.”

“No need,” Lorelei muttered, glaring at Honkers. Then she wiped off the blood that came from her mouth and pointed an accusing finger toward Honkers. “Geese are almost exclusively vegetarian, but nobody in this party has shed more blood than Honkers. Who knows? Maybe this jackalope is just as nefarious!”

“Nobody can be more murderous than Honkers,” Vanessa snapped. “But consider some of the other crimes, if one can even call them crimes, of the jackalope. Already, the idea of eating babies is strange, but talking in the theater? Why would a jackalope go into a theater? They’re too short to enjoy the film!”

“You haven’t met a lot of jackalopes then,” Lorelei said dismissively. “Why, they chatter all the time! It is easier to kill them than it is to get them to stop talking.”

“But even then, why should talking in the theater be a crime punishable by death?” Vanessa argued. “Why, my brother murdered half a dozen people, and even he didn’t get executed! But this jackalope somehow deserves to die? Does that even make sense to you?”

Lorelei laughed. “Does it matter? It’s two hundred fifty coins! It’ll be the easiest two hundred and fifty coins that we’ll ever earn.”

“Maybe,” Vanessa said reluctantly. “We do need the money, after all. But do you think we should really kill the sweet thing? Maybe if we just fake his death instead…”

“What do you propose?” Lorelei suggested, cocking her head with interest.

Vanessa frowned and looked ahead. Then she spotted Florian’s hat. It was a monstrous thing — tall, overly big, and furry. At the sight, Vanessa suddenly smiled and pointed to the hat. “Do you see the hat of the heir?”

Lorelei looked at it gravely. “Who can’t see it? It’s indescribably ugly.”

“What if we take the hat, burn it, and pretend that it’s a jackalope?” Vanessa suggested, growing excited.

Lorelei frowned. “Do you think that will work?”

“Why wouldn’t it?” Vanessa said, growing more excited. “You saw the burns from the other party that got fireballed! Why, we could just claim that we fireballed the jackalope and that’s why it looks as bad as it does. Nobody will be the wiser! That way, we don’t have to kill the jackalope, we’ll get two hundred fifty gold coins, and maybe we’ll fine out who would be so callous as to order a hit on a sweet jackalope.”

Lorelei suddenly grinned. “Better yet, that stupid hat will have a fiery demise! There aren’t any downsides here.” Then she threw back her head and laughed. “See, that’s why I like you, Vanessa. You always have the most brilliant ideas.”

It was at that moment when suddenly Lee stopped and turned back to the women. “Hey, I found your bunny tracks,” he said, gesturing to the road.

Vanessa walked up behind Lee and took a look at the bunny tracks. “Yep! We're here. Lorelei, now!” Lorelei leapt, plucked the ugly fur hat off Florians's head and launched it into the air, where Vanessa blasted the hat into a barely recognizable husk. “Mission complete!” shouted Vanessa happily,”now let's find that jackalope and move him somewhere else.” “My hat! Why did you do that?! You know that was a family heirloom.” Florian glared at the girls and picked up the corpse of his hat. Lee gave the girls a questioning look. “I'm a-guessin we ‘rnt killn the bunny?”asked Jenkins. “That's the plan,” said Vanessa proudly, “we show Sally that ugly hat and collect our reward. It's a win-win situation, the jackalope doesn't die, we get money, and Sally thinks we are trustworthy so we get many more missions.” “Did you have to destroy my hat?” whined Florian.

The group followed the jackalope’s tracks into a town. There was blood everywhere, bodies littering the streets, and corpses of burnt houses crumbling into ash. In the town square sat the jackalope. He was covered in ash and blood. Behind the jackalope was the library, smoke billowing from the windows and embers flying into the air. In front of the burning building stood five men. Each man had a sword, a revolver, and a mask. Four men carried a jackalope.

When Vanessa came into the town, she froze. With the smoke and blood everywhere, her first thought that came to mind was that her brother had struck. Except that couldn’t be true. Her brother was in a high-security prison. This must be someone else’s doing!

And at first all she wanted to do was to help everybody who was injured. She wasn’t a very advanced healer — she did fine in the hospital along with everyone else there, but she would not be able to heal everyone present. Still, something was better than nothing, and starting up a triage healing site seemed the fairly obvious solution in such a place that had been as war-torn as this place had been.

Then she spotted the jackalope, along with the four men who held it.

“Help!” the jackalope cried when he saw their party, wiggling his cute little nose and kicking out his feet in a desperate effort to break free from their clutches. The men only laughed evilly at the poor creature’s plight and stuffed him into a bag. They were wearing gloves, all of them, and their gloves were stained with blood and gunpowder.

“There!” Vanessa yelled. Then, before she was even fully aware of what she was doing, she began to run toward the man.

And she was furious, more furious than she had ever been in her entire life. It was as if rage consumed her entire being. As she came closer to the men, their mouths gaped open stupidly as they watched Vanessa storm toward them as if she were a hurricane.

But there was one person who was even more bloodthirsty than she was:

Honkers.

Hissing up a storm, the goose sprang towards the men, hissing with his neck low to the ground and his wings outstretched. Then, as the men watched stupidly, the goose launched himself toward the men. One man, he struck dead with his wing with a sharp blow to the head. With his other wing, he knocked another man down by striking him in the ankle. The two remaining men looked at each other and fled.

Vanessa grabbed the bag with the wriggling jackalope and pulled him out. The jackalope, upon seeing her, immediately sprang into her arms and looked about, wiggling his nose

“It’s okay, my sweet little dear,” Vanessa cooed when she felt the jackalope shiver against her. Then she turned to the man who had been stunned. “We’ll should question the man—“ she started to say, only to realize that the man whom Honkers had stunned was dead with a suspicious stab wound on his chest.

“What’s that?” Florian said, cleaning blood off his rapier and raising his eyebrow.

Vanessa fumed.

“It’s okay,” Lorelei assured her. “The jackalope will tell us everything, I’m sure.”

“Once I calm down,” the jackalope said, shivering. “Does anyone have anything strong to drink?”

Everyone turned to Lee.

Lee sighed and pulled out his flask. “And this is why I don’t do adventuring,” he murmured under his breath.

While the others gathered around the flask, Honkers guarded the body of his kill. Lorelei walked over to the body and kneeled down beside it.

She picked up the revolver and studied it. Dwarven manufacture from the look of it, there was a manufacturer's mark on it, a T inside a circle. Alchemical cartridges were loaded inside. She set it aside for now.

She turned to look at Honkers, who wiggled his tail feathers excitedly. Then, as she began to cast, both of their eyes flashed purple as the power of the spell filled them and then exploded from her finger into the corpse.

The corpses eyes flashed open and for a second it looked like it tried to resist the spell, but Lorelei's power overwhelmed it. Lorelei's eyes met the corpses.

"What are the names, locations, and occupations of all your surviving family members?" Lorelei asked.

"My Mother's name is Carol Butterby, she lives in Cherry Town and is a baker. I have a sister named Gertrude Butterby, also in Cherry Town, she's just a little girl."

"If you fail to answer my questions completely and truthfully, I will track them down and destroy them all. Honkers, stop Vanessa," she said as Vanessa turned at the sound of the corpse speaking. Honkers eyes glowed purple as he put himself between Lorelei and Vanessa. Lorelei continued to look at the corpse, who himself looked defeated.

"What were the terms of the contract and the parties involved?" Lorelei asked.

"We were to raze the village to the ground and frame the jackalope for it. In return, we would get paid 1000 gold pieces. My boss signed the contract, I didn't know the other party."

"Two of the others got away, what will they do once they realize their mission failed?"

"They are gunslinger assassins, they will look for a way to complete the contract."

"Great," Lorelei said. "Where will they collect the bounty once they complete their mission?"

"There is a bar, the Drunken Sailor, in the town of Seabeck. Our reward would await us there on completion of the mission."

"You've answered well and honestly. What message would you like me to bring your family?"

"Tell them that I was one of the victims, do not tell them that I was part of this. I thought it would be just beating people up and setting some fires, not all the killing," The corpse said. Once he had finished speaking, the power of the spell finished. Her eyes returned to their usual hazel hue and turned around to see the rest of the party staring at her.

"Next time, leave one alive for questioning," Lorelei said to Florian as she returned to her feet. "I hate using that spell."