I Mock You!

I agree with Surreal. The negativity wasn't really an issue for me. I think that it worked because you used negativity all the way though. You like no part of the thing or person you are descibing, and I like it. Negative can sometimes be better than good.

Chantel

I have to agree that I was not particularly fond of this poem either. It's just so...pointless. You kind of think it's supposed to be funny but you don't know why...and then it turns to you thinking it's supposed to be evil or something...but it's not--it's just there.

A very negative poem...I'm not sure if I like it. I do agree with...write me? (sorry, I'm new, I don't know all of your names yet) it's not funny, it's not evil...it's slightly negative but mostly it's just...there

That was very hard to read. It reminds me of what bullies say, these are hurtful and I hated:

I mock you!
Watch me as I laugh!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Your insignificance repulses me!
Ugh! You are ugly!
Ah! You are dumb!
Oh! You are laughable!

I poke you!
Watch as you are bruised!
Poke! Poke! Poke! Poke!
Your anorexic body repulses me!
Ugh! You are thin!
Ah! You are weak!
Oh! You're a sissy!

Some people have said that becouse it is negitive that dosn't mean it's a bad poem. I agree. But I also think that this poem is a bad poem, as well as rude and negitive.

Well, it made sence to me.

Hm.. I really dont know what I think about this. One second I'm like, well this is just dreadful, but then the next I think; there is some good foundations here for a really good poem.

I like the fast rhythm of it, but the use of punctuation, such as the exclamation marks, is just too much. To emphasise in writing, it is a lot better to use italics, I find because it makes it stand out more and gives it an edge.

Okay, so it is a first post so we cannot curse you as much as the rest, but there is definately room for improvement here. Read up on some poetry, I recommend Seamus Heaney. He doesn't follow this certasin style, but his style of poetry is very hard hitting and it is good if you really want to put the point across.

Good luck in your editing.

I actually quite enjoyed this. But one thing: You ATE Anne Coulter? EW!