Words

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We talk so much that sometimes we forget
the value of words. It's all been said before
(we're all echoes, echoes)
and so the empty voices fall around us
muffling our meaning.

We walk centuries deep
in words, so many words,
so many syllables.
Sound travels, and on a clear night
you can hear the whispers
of a thousand years ago.

Here on still days the world is thick
with unsaid speeches, words on the tips
of our tongues. All we are is words
and yet there's
never enough words for all the things
we need to say.
Last edited by bubblewrapped on Sun Nov 12, 2006 8:39 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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I'm quite sure I like this a lot, but I'm undecided on a few things. The constant use of the word 'word' ( :roll: ) is helpful in establishing what you're saying, but at the same time it begins to lose its effect after so many uses. You could either use another word for 'word' ( :roll: ) or change the whole thing to get some more variety. Either way, you still have a nice piece here. I like the message a lot. The ending was great too, very nice.

Great work.
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a head that empty?
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a heart that gone?




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Cheers Inertia, I've done some touching up here and there and I think it's better now that I've got rid of a few "words" (LOL) and replaced them with other words for words. Um. Yeah. LOL. Anyway, thanks for that :D
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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beautiful, it sent shivers down my spine, darling.
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis




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i like this poem a lot, especially the image of wading through words...
We walk centuries deep
in words, so many words,
so many syllables.

great imagery the whole way through. wonderful work.
“It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.” - Lemony Snicket



I love her dearly, but I can’t live with her for a day without feeling my whole life is wasting away.
— Miss Kenton, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro