Granted but you sell so many copies you make J.K. Rowling so miserable she kills herself. Her husband finds out it was all your fault and kills you.

I wish I had a manga that was just right for me.

Granted but the writer commits suicide and the series is discontinued.

I wish I could eat raisins all day

Granted but you get bad gas the next day.

I wish I could have a nice untainted cheesecake.

Granted but my gas melts it. Ha!

I wish I was as cool as Naruto

Granted but you become so cool you are Naruto. And that's really scary because Naruto is the love of my life.

I had an indestructible dog.

Granted, but it has rabies and kills you.


I wish I could go into the world I created in my book

Granted but someone starts rewriting the book so you fall down and endless pit.

I wish I had a boyfriend.

Granted but you get so happy you explode. (There were so many other better ones but that would just seem mean)


I wish I was the fastest human in the world

Granted but now you are blind.

I wish I could play the piano.

Granted, but you suck


I wish school wouldn't start

Granted, school stops. In time. This occurs right in the middle of the class you find the most boring, and it lasts forever.

EDIT: Oh right!
I wish I had two quarts of Cherry Garcia.

Granted, but you drink it all in 5 minutes, and die from the overload of liquids

I wish that I was a superhero.

Granted but you got the power to turn into a radioactive blob that does nothing.

I wish we could go to different planets to live.

Granted, but you hate it.


I wish I were happier

Granted but your too happy for everyone to handle, so you no longer have friends

I wish that i could fly