Jokes and Puns!!!

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I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
I promise this type of pain only gets worse
~Esmeraya~

she/they




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the dumbest joke ever:

what happens when a fork has a kid with a spoon?

you get a spork!
Dumbledore: "Now, it's great that you've been saving the school and all Harry, but unfortunately your grades have been a tad low, and, well... perhaps Gandalf could explain it better... hit it, Gandalf!

Gandalf: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"




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Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.
I promise this type of pain only gets worse
~Esmeraya~

she/they




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why did the starbucks employee doodle on the customers latte?

they felt like they needed to expresso themself.
[insert inspirational quote here]




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What does Batman put in his water?

Just ice
I won't go down by myself, but I'll go down with my friends
I'm taking back the life you stole
Came a time when every star fall brought you to tears again

-My Chemical Romance




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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I promise this type of pain only gets worse
~Esmeraya~

she/they




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I seafood what you did there.
Swan Queen's little sister in-law/caretaker since 2022




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What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.
I promise this type of pain only gets worse
~Esmeraya~

she/they




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What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing, they just waved.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]




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Why do dancers use "5,6,7,8"?

Because the musicians took "1,2,3,4".
I won't go down by myself, but I'll go down with my friends
I'm taking back the life you stole
Came a time when every star fall brought you to tears again

-My Chemical Romance




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I am eggcited about this thread.




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Grandfather asks his grandchild what he´s watching on TV.

"Soccer. Today is Austra - Hungary."

"Cool. Against who?"

(Is anybody here that will get this?)
Reality is a prison and time is its guard

I´m just a random girl with gentle manners

Every bad voice in your head was once outside




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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he had no guts!

(And I think I get that joke!)
mage

[ they/them ]

queer and here.




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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

I was hoping you knew.

(I get it.)




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Do you know the song about the cow that fell into the river?

Plumps
Reality is a prison and time is its guard

I´m just a random girl with gentle manners

Every bad voice in your head was once outside



"You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things..."
— Gone With the Wind