Crime™

Kazimir didn't move.

"Shh," he said. "I'm sleeping."

Derik laughed despite himself. Good. So he didn't hurt him. Kazimir seemed like the type who wasn't easily hurt, but the humor eased some of Derik's guilt at having to hit him. "Nite-nite."

Kazimir moved his hands on his chest, laying them on top of each other, and then he crossed his ankles.

"Wake me up when you want to scuffle," he said, keeping his eyes closed.

Derik snorted but grinned. "I'm ready whenever you are, Sleeping Beauty."

Kazimir's eyes then shot open, and his face lit up. Derik was ready whenever he was, and he was ready now. He shot back up to his feet, ignoring the throbbing on the back of his head where he'd hit the ground, and he bounced on his heels again.

"I'm ready," he said. "Okay, now say something to insult me to sell it."

"It's gotta be a scuffle," Derik murmured, thinking out loud. "No one's gonna believe we went from zero to a knockout right away. Gotta make noise, rough each other up until we get an audience, you know?"

He looked at the door.

"We should probably get on that end ish so you'll be in place when the time's right..." He looked up to Kaz's face. "I can handle myself, but don't knock me too silly, alright? I still gotta be able to fight the guards. If they get a needle in me, I'll be useless almost immediately."

Kazimir moved so he was in the right spot. Derik was so concerned about the details, and Kazimir was just excited to have a nice playful little scuffle. Nothing too serious, but enough that onlookers might be concerned.

"Oh, trust me," he said. "If I wanted to knock you out, I would've already. I got you, Ricky."

"I--" Derik scoffed. They'd argue about nicknames later, if this plan worked. He took a deep breath, getting into the right headspace, then shouted as loud as he could. "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!"

He drove his palms into Kazimir's shoulders as hard as he could, intending to knock him into the wall.

Kazimir laughed loudly and devilishly, letting Derik push him against the wall, but he angled his head forward so his skull wouldn't take another unnecessary hit.

"Oh, come on, you don't want a little fun?" Kazimir taunted, pushing off the wall and grabbing Derik's waist, lifting him off his feet.

He hadn't been expecting that one. But he rolled with it.

"I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU WHAT I WANT!" he shouted, swinging his leg past Kazimir to kick the wall firmly with the bottom of his foot, making a loud thud echo through the cell.

Kazimir giggled and ran across the cell, still holding Derik up in the air so his legs were flailing, and then he flipped Derik in his arms, dropping him gracelessly to the floor.

"SO ANGRY!" Kazimir teased as he reached down and pulled Rek up by the collar. "What, can't take a FUCKIN' HIT?"

This was ridiculous. Derik almost laughed, but he needed to be the angry one in this "fight" if they wanted to sell it. He stomped loudly as he landed, half a moment before Kazimir pulled him up by the collar. He glared up at him. "I'LL SHOW YOU A FUCKING HIT!"

Kazimir got giddy when he heard people outside of their cell starting to chatter.

"Fuck it off, Kazimir!" he heard a woman's voice shout. "Leave the man alone, or you're about to get your share of Lumshade early!"

"WHAT'S THAT?" Kazimir shouted back. "HIT HIM HARDER?"

Kazimir dragged Derik to his feet and swung for Derik's face, aiming to miss.

Derik saw the blow wasn't going to make contact, but still ducked under it to make it believable. This was going smoother than he'd expected. Already had an audience. Apparently, Kazimir had a reputation.

"I'LL HIT YOU HARDER!" Derik threatened. He threw his shoulder forward, trying to shove Kazimir into the wall again.

Kazimir danced away with his eyes shining. He could already hear someone jangling keys, hurting to open the first layer of doors, and then making it to the concrete door, where he saw Jada's face, frowning, and giving him a look of warning.

"Dammit, Kazimir," Jada grumbled. "Don't make me come in there."

Oh, but that was the plan.

Kazimir backed into position, letting Derik come to him.

"Come on, Jada," Kazimir said. "Let me take this one out for you. I'm making your life EASY!"