Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree

"I noticed you were quite stiff during that training session," he began. He suspected he knew why. "Are you wearing a binder of some sort, Ky?" Tomhas had decided it was best to come right out and say it; he couldn't hop about like a coal dancer.

Ky’s gaze snapped down the path where Aleth had walked off, but he was no where to be found. Not close enough to help. She swallowed hard. How was she supposed to answer that? How could she? If she denied, then he could always order her to take her shirt off to prove it, and then she’d be caught in a lie. And servants who lied weren’t treated pleasantly.

She didn’t have a lot of options. Lie, and risk being discovered. Or tell the truth and risk Aleth’s wrath. She swallowed hard, trying to make her decision. Aleth would be enraged no matter how Loquitur found out that she wasn’t actually a he. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look back to his eyes, voice soft. “Yes, sir.”

"Right, thought so." Tomhas smiled awkwardly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. If it's who you are, it's who you are. If you're hiding yourself for some reason, then it's just as much of a necessity for now. My brother in-law uses a similar device." He glanced down at his hands, plucking at his gloves. "He's made a fine living designing clothes, and he's very good at making flexible binders. Things with fewer mobility issues." Gods, he hadn't really talked about something like this since Anneke's brother had last come over. He was well out of practice.

Ky blinked at him. That wasn’t at all where she thought he was heading. “I doubt Master Klev would want to pay for that. I only wear it when—“

She cut herself off, taking a deep breath. She needed to be careful with what she said. Still. If Loquitur had guessed she hadn’t been born a man, and still didn’t dismiss her, then maybe — just maybe — he wouldn’t mind if she admitted the truth. Indirectly.

“Kylia means ‘gift of the gods’,” she said quietly, watching his face carefully even though he wasn’t looking at her. She wasn’t even sure what she was expecting to see. Hoping to see. But she hoped he’d understand what she was trying to say. And then it hit her what she’d just done. She just willing gave— panic rushed into her, “You can’t tell—“

She cut herself off again with a sharp inhale, bowing her head to look directly at the bench as she murmured robotically, “Apologies, sir. His lordship can of course do whatever he pleases. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.”

Her breathing felt shallow and rapid and she knew her cheeks were flushing. But that’s what she got for being so careless.

Oh.
"I see," Tomhas said softly. "Do you prefer Kylia, then? It's a beautiful name." His chest felt tight; what this was all leading up to went well against his principles. He didn't like getting involved and he certainly didn't like putting people in jeopardy like this. But Lyra's words, that childish belief that he could simply magic away Ky's suffering, kept rattling about in his mind.

Ky’s gaze snapped back down the path where Aleth had disappeared. Then she glanced around, paranoid that he’d somehow ended up back close to them. That he was already planning her punishment for sharing her secret. “I haven’t been called that since I was snatched—taken—“ she was making it worse, trying to find the right words. “Left. Since I left my papa-ther. My father.” She’d chosen the wrong word there, too.

She looked up guiltily. She still hadn’t answered his question. And she suspected he was too cunning to let that slide and there was no point in making him repeat himself. “It’s better...” she glanced around again, chest tight, then looked back at Loquitur. She felt so small. Ridiculous. “If I just answer to Kyber. Ky is a nice nickname for either, so it’s... easier.”

Tomhas nodded slightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize." He sat in silence for a long moment, waiting for the sickness in his stomach to leave and for his throat to untighten. When it didn't, he huffed out a breath. "I'll see to it you have some proper binders if you need them. No skin off Aleth's back." He'd like to see some skin come off, really. "I expect this conversation is not something he'd want you take part in, so I'll give you an alternative one to use if you so desire: we discussed the potential risk of this mission and what to do in the event that your master is discovered. I told you to get him free under any circumstances and gave details about the location of Gaius's cells. They're located below the barracks. If he dies, you two make your way back here again with whatever information you discovered, but ideally he should be fine."

The silence was the longest that she had ever had in her entire life. She blinked at Loquitur again when he kept talking. Was he... covering for her? It was the kindest thing to happen to her in a long, long time.

“Yes, sir,” she answered softly. She wanted to use it. Wanted to believe he really wanted to help. But, what if he went and told Aleth the truth? Lying was always so, so much worse than anything else she could do. “Are you going to... tell...?”

"Gods, of course not!" Tomhas shook his head in disbelief. "Have you had no kindness in your life, child? Of course I'm not going to tell anyone. If your safety relies on your pretending to be a boy, my lips are sealed." He produced a pantomimed key and turned the lock dramatically, pressing his lips together. He'd do a lot more than keep his mouth shut by the end of the war; hopefully Gaius would see through Aleth eventually.

Ky felt her chest loosen a bit at his dramatic show. He seemed to be serious. No one could be that flamboyant if they planned to hurt you... right? She smiled a bit. Then sobered, thinking about his question. “I mean... it’s been a while. I was only eleven when they... when I left my father.” She tried for a smile but it was sad.

"And you're what, sixteen now?" Tomhas wrinkled his nose. "Why don't you run away? What's stopping you?" What had stopped him and Gaius? They had nothing ahead of them; Michael had been set to become Lord and they were on their own.

“Fifteen, sir,” she corrected quietly. She felt her chest getting tight again, and yet, something in her yearned for more of his gentleness. Just a hint of kindness before she went back to the room for Aleth to hit her. “And... at first... he, uh, figured out who my P-father was. And then...” she twisted the hem of her tunic in her hands, finding it hard to get out. She’d never actually told anyone this story before.

“And then I got word that he— my father— uh...” She took a deep breath, forcing herself to lift her chin. “Well... there’s nothing left for me to go back to.” She shrugged, still not quite meeting his gaze. “And even if I did try to go back to my township, I’d never make it the whole way without running into more slavers... and Master Klev knows most of them...”

Ky shrugged again, finally turning her gaze back to his face. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to... I guess the short answer is I lack the courage. I’m not a particularly brave...” she glanced around again, still scared Aleth was nearby, and finished softly, “girl.”

Tomhas wrung his hands again. He was fairly sure Ky could hear his heart pounding, and it was all he could do not to tremble with indignation. This poor girl had barely known anything but cruelty, then. And still only a child.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he murmured. "I wish it wasn't that way. I know it doesn't help to hear that, but...well." Tomhas clasped his hands together and took a deep breath. "I know what it is to be stuck, Ky. I'm not concerned about your master knowing that; it's fairly common knowledge that Septimus Ash was no father to me or to Gaius." He glanced away from her toward the wall. "Nor was my blood father anyone I wanted to hang around."

Ky watched as even Loquitur seemed to grow a bit vulnerable. It wasn’t a moment she’d had with anyone except Tadaaki. And even though she still felt like she had to be guarded, she was allowing herself to relax a bit. It would have been easy to forget that he was the Lord, and she was just a servant on her way to a beating.

“I’m sorry,” she answered softly. She lifted a hand to put it on his arm comfortingly by instinct, but caught herself at the last moment and yanked it away, looking away quickly. She couldn’t touch a nobleman. “That had to hurt worse than—“ she cut herself off. She couldn’t actually admit Aleth was a cruel as he was. “Well, there’s certain things that happen to you when you become someone’s property. My Papa was a good man.” She didn’t bother catching herself that man. “I’m sorry that both of yours hurt you.”

"I never met Brogan Loquitur," Tomhas mused, glancing at her as she reached out. "I saw him from afar once, at a meeting Lord Ash brought me and Gaius to. He looked a right proper brute. My poor mother wasn't there, thank the gods." He rose abruptly. "Don't think of yourself as property, Ky. There's no such thing as human property--fuck whatever Tarr or anybody else says to the contrary. You're a human being with feelings, and you made something of a friend in my daughter." His face had hardened as he spoke, but as he said this it grew soft again, almost wistful.
"Lyra doesn't make friends," he sighed. "She never got along with anyone. This...this situation is something I'm going to regret for the rest of my life, but I can sleep a little better knowing you make it bearable for her."