Change Of Career, Sir?
The famous Gingerbread Man - otherwise known as ‘Big G’ to acquaintances has had a career change, from being the humble victim of a mass countryside chase, to a top-notch LA gangster. But why the sudden change? Big G explains.
“As you can imagine, I was slightly annoyed at being chased for twenty years straight by all these obsessive people. I mean, I probably do taste good, but these guys just couldn’t get over me.
So what do I do? I hire protection. But even they were fighting the temptation to snap off an arm or a leg while I’m sleeping. I was living in terror, afraid to sleep at night, in case my body parts got mangled before morning. I had to travel around, for fear of being recognised by another mob of gingerbread-man-eaters. So, a year ago, I went to LA, and I managed to hook up with an Italian-American gangster. Al Capone was his name, and he taught me all the ropes. I became one of his most trusted cronies. When he was brutally murdered in a gun hoist last month, we were all devastated. He was like a father to us all. So, with great pains, we took a vote to see who our next leader would be. Well, I won, but of course, Jimmy wasn’t having any of that. So he tries to stick a bullet in my head!
Luckily, my most loyal friend Big Egg (Humpty Dumpty) was too quick for him. We hid Jim’s body in dear old Al’s coffin. Always useful, that man.” Big G reminisces.
“And I’ve got one last message for you gingerbread lovers out there.” Big G proclaims, “ You’re never going to get a piece of me. Not now, not ever." And with this parting sentence, Big G smiles menacingly, raises his gun into the air, and fires a solitary shot at the sky, as a warning to us all.
