The Incan Shark

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He came from nowhere, Incan did
From the murky depths of the sea.
A primitive brain with a primordial yearning
To eat all the poems he could see.

While slinking around in the foam of the waves
A storm blew him into this port
And when he saw the poems floating around
He treated poem-eating as sport.

Because the lonely poems taste bitter
And the love-y ones so sweet
But his favorites were the suicides
That tasted like red meat.

And smacking his lips after swallowing
He admits, "It wasn't quite so bad.
But now it's gone and thankfully so;
All the best --- Brad."
Last edited by Snoink on Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

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Nice. I liked it. Sorry I have no suggestions.

EDIT: Typo in the second line.




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Yay! Typo fixed. ;)

I wrote it right on paper -- honest! XD
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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:lol: :lol: :lol:
Oh....I love it. :-) can you tell! That's Incan perfectly--totally loved it.
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis




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Oh no! Metalhead posted the dreaded "N" word: "nice!" AAUGH!

:D :lol: :) :lol: :D

LOL, Snoink! I love it!!!! Has Incan seen it yet? ;)
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Hahaha... that's wonderful.

The only suggestion I have is to change the rhymes in the first stanza... If you read it out loud, it just sounds like you're repeating "sea" twice.

Other than that... it's lovely.
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I love that last line. It is classic Incan.
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Very good. Hilarious. LOL, well done.
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Wow, Snoink. Just wow. XD
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Brilliant!
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The end is perfect. I love it. :mrgreen:
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Well, this isn't the best of poems but...

I enjoyed it. =]
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Heh Incan will love it heh. :D
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I think I've been away from the YWS too long to know exactly who you're talking about ... but it seems that Snoink has remained just as witty (if not moreso.) I liked all the sea imagery, like "murky depths" and "slinking around in the foam of the waves." Slinking is a great word, in general.

NICE WORK I HAVE NO CRIT!
i thought you were shallow, but then i fell in deep.




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When you left a link in my blog after I had had a ranting session about him this really cheered me up :-)
Its really captured him... lol.
And my favourite is the last line when you took his "motto" line......
All the best-Brad.
Excellent.
Hope he see's it :-)
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. - Peter O'Toole



Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
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