Untitled

The prompt for this was "Use Emily Dickinson's line 'Bring me the sunset in a cup' to start a poem."

Bring me the sunset in a cup.
Together we can watch the
colors swirl into one another
in harmonious disarray.

Together we can drink in
the glorious beauty
that disappears within moments.

Alone, it could be just
the end of one more day,
the dawn of one more night.

But with you,
the sun glistens,
as the final rays
surrender to the stars.

Yay, Emily Dickinson!

I like this alot; it flows smoothly and the imagery is lovely. I particularly liked the first and last stanzas. Those are the kind of phrases you can read again and again and each time they just seem more beautiful than the last...

Sorry. I'm going all gushy. The only thing I disliked was the second stanza, it was rather cliche. The rest of the poem was so lovely, and that one stanza was mediocre and not really necessary... I would just omit the second stanza.

Nice work on this.

WOw, I thought the first stanza was really beautiful!

I think the last stanza was beautiful also but the lines kinda threw me off somehow... I don't know how but they did... It was so beautiful *mopes around and cries*

Heh, this was beautiful, sounds like something I'd have written... I might write a poem with that opening line sometime soon.

Together we can drink in
the glorious beauty
that disappears within moments.

Describe what the moments are like, and it'll probably become a little more fluid.

Otherwise, lovely imagery!

Well done niteowl.