Why does this hook suck so bad

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Hi!

So I am writing an essay for my English class and I having the worst time figuring out how to make the following sentence more descriptive, visual, and just overall better. If you have a second and any ideas I seriously would be so grateful.

Thanks

Sabri4027




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Um... can you show us the said sentence so that we can help you with it? ^^'
"Writing, though, belongs first to the writer, and then to the reader, to the world.

The subject is a catalyst, a character, but our responsibility is, has to be, to the work."

- David L. Ulin




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What kind of essay are you writing? What are the restrictions imposed upon you? We gotta know that so we can tailor our answers to your specific needs.
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