Old Story

Not exactly sure how to delete this.

It were ass if it were happening now

as, typo.

you should make it a rule to read over everything before posting several times so as to catch these sort of silly mistakes

My mom exited in the same fashion, and I was still staring out, speechless, just letting the memories hit me one by one.

I think you might be missing a verb in here, or something...

I grabbed the coat I had received yesterday and waited for so long.

I'm not sure that you just receiving the coat yesterday has any relevance, does in come into play later? was it your birthday? Christmas? did you just go shopping?

I walked down the to closely examine the box

then.

It was wrapped so nicely that one may of thought it was a Christmas gift.

I'm guessing you said "may of" because it sounds like "may've" which is the proper wording. "may have thought"

and how I often slept with right by my side.

and how I often slept with him right by my side.

Most of all, I reflected on how, out of all the things I could not remember as a child, I remembered the day we found him, the time spent with him, and all the trust, solace, and compassion I had put into one of my closest friends, Orzo, the cat.

no comma after 'how' no comma after 'child.'

It was good. I didn't particularly like it, but I didn't dislike it either. I'm neutral to it. It didn't bring out your feelings as far as I could tell. You should consider foreshadowing that the memoir is about your dead cat near the beginning. And, always keep in mind, real life is not as interesting as fiction

no comma after 'how' no comma after 'child.'

Are you sure this needs to be done? I placed those commas because I made an interruption into the sentence, and it could still function properly without the phrase between the two commas.

well I thought so because "I reflected on how out of all the things I could not remember as a child I remembered the day we found him" is one full sentence that needs no interruption, not to mention the use of nine commas in one sentence either calls for semicollon, or a rewrite somewhere

Alright, I see.
I often overdo the commas and somehow I find a way to justify it that doesn't make sense.

Thanks!

ouch

If you don't want people to see this story, simply " hide" it to other viewers.