If you want detailed critique or feedback you can post in the literary forums via the Publishing Centre, (link up top.)
This is well formatted, with is always a good start. It gets pretty tense at points and there is a lot going on in a short space. I'd recommend easing off a bit on the stage directions. Scripts are all about dialogue and the interpretation of that dialogue, so including too many instructions detracts from that.
Sagaba Final.pdf
