The Crow and The Tree

Note to all readers and critics!

This poem is broken into the three parts. I rearranged the parts to place it in the way I wanted it to be read but chronologically the order is, of course, 1,2 and 3. You may read it chronologically or you may read it as laid out or however you'd like.

I also would like to apologise for the ryhming here and there. It was two in the morning when I wrote this and I'd had far to much soda.

--------------------------------

The Crow and the Tree

3
Her wings stretched and broke the light of day,
Then she soared and furthermore began to fly up away.
The Tree let out a small grumbled as he looked down below:
He spotted the Couple again now holding hands,
Their faces were aglow.
With a quiver and a sigh the two began to chortle off.
The Tree, now in the cold breeze of morn', shook and began to mope.

1
Little black feathers were rustled and its beady eyes were focused
It watched as the girl cried now, near the sea.
The Crow's brow began to furrow and she let out an annoyed sigh,
"Now should she be crying? She seems warm and dry."
To this the oak replied with jesting laugh.
He grinned and watched as the boy came running aft.
"Human's are a puzzle,"
He but replied.
The Crow gave nod and watched as they came up to walk on by.

2
The Girl gave a smile as the Boy whispered something in her ear.
Then she turned and looked at him,
For what, the Tree supposed, to be a human year.
The Girl then kissed the Boy and he pulled her near the tree.
The two sat down.
The Boy did frown as the Girl began to speak.
The Girl was smiling though and the Crow began to too.
The Boy seemed bored and the tree glanced upward and felt relatively askew.
"It may rain,"
He declared.
The Crow just shook her head,
"You never talk of them,
(She gestured to the pair below)
Let's talk of them, instead.
I wonder why, I do,
Why they need each other?"
The Tree just gave a witty grin and replied,
"It's simple: they both have a mother."
"A mother: I did have,"
The Crow discovered,
"Does that mean I need you?"
The Tree gave the Crow a stern look and shook its great branch.
It watched as the crow tumbled off
And fell to the distant ground.
The Crow gave a startled sad look as it caught itself.
The Tree did not move, it merely stood in tableau,
He merely watched the Couple get up
And ended what seemed to be another row.

Vampx13--


Why would you post something which you didn't give a serious attempt?

Well, whatever the case may be, this certainly won't make anyone stop to remark on the power of your langauge. It's a lightweight, self-absorbed bit of prose with linebreaks and a cryptic close.

I don't think it's worth editing.


Best,
Brad

Ouch.

I actually did work pretty hard on this. The only thing I was unable to fix, which bothers me, is the ryhming.

Oww.

Yeah... it's a cute children's poem, but I don't know. I can see it more easily as a picture book with tons of pictures than anything that Incan would consider serious work.

Still, that doens't make it bad. It's a fun story.