A Thousand Mirrors

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There are so many different ways that I could be
like a thousand mirrors, fragments of faces laugh
as I smile.
Did I learn my life from you?
I have always felt like bits and pieces;
a reheated vision of paradise (only
dehydrated). And yes,
In the back of my mind I know
that I’m pretending.

You seem so honest. Are you lying?
Are you teasing me for trying
to understand (as if I could)
what moves you?

You live like a thousand mirrors make no difference –
you can see your own face in me.

I live like a million shards, a patch-work person –
all I ever am is parts of you.
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There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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You live like a thousand mirrors make no difference –


That doesnt make sense.

Otherwise, this was excellent, I like the imagery and love the last line. Brava.
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I love it, hon. Actually I think that line does make sense. Brava!

How's that for being lame and nonconstructive?

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There are so many different ways that I could be
like a thousand mirrors, fragments of faces laugh
as I smile.
Did I learn my life from you?
I have always felt like bits and pieces;

This poem comes to us in bits and pieces - it's somewhat fragmented. If this is on purpose, the tying in line needs to be placed at the end and not hinted in the first stanza.

a reheated vision of paradise (only
dehydrated). And yes,
In the back of my mind I know
that I’m pretending.

You never get back this pretending thing.

You seem so honest. Are you lying?
Are you teasing me for trying
to understand (as if I could)
what moves you?

You live like a thousand mirrors make no difference –
you can see your own face in me.

I live like a million shards, a patch-work person –
all I ever am is parts of you.


The "thousand to a million" construction is overused.

Otherwise, nice job. :D
Carpe Diem.




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The line that Jig quoted also didn't make sense to me. Other than that, I really liked the poem. I could feel the emotion in it, and the last line was just excellent!

Also as gummy said, I wouldn't hint to the last line in the first stanza. That last line deserves to stand out all on its own. :D

Wiggy ;)
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Well written...
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REVISED v.2.0

There are so many different ways that I could be
like a thousand mirrors, fragments of faces laugh
as I smile.
Did I learn my life from you? Because yes,
in the back of my mind I know
that I’m pretending.

Yet you seem so honest. Are you lying?
Are you teasing me for trying
to understand (as if I could)
what moves you?

You live like a thousand mirrors make no difference –
you can see your own face in me.

I live like a million shards, a patch-work person –
all I ever am is parts of you.
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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bubblewrapped wrote:
You live like a thousand mirrors make no difference –


That is definitely my favorite line in the entire poem. I think it makes the most sense of them all. Great job =]
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A little confusing but you do have talent and I like the idea!
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I love it! Very interesting, and the description was perfect. The last line was awesome! Great job! :)
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I'm really inlove with this poem. I wish I had some good constructive crticism to give you. But alas, I do not.
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You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone.
— Rod Serling