Rhythm - 9, 8, 8, 8 syllables: awkward. The first one dictates the tone, and then the rest are something equal but differing - sort them out somehow.
Meter - stressed syllables in red/capital letters:
"my LI-ttle BRO-ther just DIED to-DAY,
so i BEGGED to BE the BLACK lamb.
then EVE-ry-one LOOKED at ME to SAY,
Slick JIM-my please DON'T be a HAM."
As you can see, your meter is all over the place - when you read it, the natural stress of your voice falls in all the wrong places, due to your choice of words. Take, for example, this thrown-together and unappealing piece (but with good meter):
"At SUN-up we RODE with their GRAVES on our HEELS and a HAS-ty res-PECT for their SOULS;
From St. MAUD'S to the HILLS we were HALF-way to DEAD with a LEG-ion a-LIVE to the CALL."
Note that the stresses fall on every third syllable: a triplet poem. It makes it snappy, fast-paced, flowing, well-suited for a battle piece: a good example is The Destruction of Sennacherib by Byron, which is basically what I based it on. Good poetry needs good meter - in your case, you probably want a stress every other syllable, such as this example:
"my BRO-ther KILLED him-SELF to-DAY,
and TORE his GRIN from EVE-ry FACE."
Content - what? I just didn't get it. It seemed short and silly and there wasn't really much there for me to get ahold of. There was almost some interesting imagery, but it just never quite made it to the "image" or "interesting" part, mainly because it was so slapstick. Also, using your nickname in there just sounded plain out of place.
Grammar - a bit weird. Capitals after commas but not after full-stops?
I don't know as much about poetry as backgroudbob, but I also thought it didn't flow well. When I read it to myself it seemed slightly off.
I don't have any clue what this poem is about, and I'm not sure you do either. These lines may mean something specific to you, but they don't really say anything to the reader.
