Untitled Lament

8 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5890
Reviews 440
His words, which wrench my poet’s soul
Are of a man long dead,
And through his lines I see the words
That he has left unsaid.

A life of pleasure he pursued,
And plied his craft to same,
And still his soul came empty back,
Though body took free reign.

And though his voice has faded to
The printed ink of death,
Still I feel his soul cry to me
And wish we two had met.
Last edited by gyrfalcon on Sat Sep 30, 2006 6:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 212
Lovely lovely. Use punctuation and in this line:

"Still I feel his soul cry out to me"

remove the word out. Supreme job.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5890
Reviews 440
thank's timjim! *blushes with happiness*
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Oh gosh... this IS lovely and everything.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 6831
Reviews 594
Wow. Usually I'm not a fan of rhyming poems, because they often seem too whimsical for the subject. However... you managed to pull off a somber tone, and the rhyming only enhances the subject. I think every writer can identify with this. Bravo!
Love and Light




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 36
*happy squirm*
Oscar Wilde, I think...?
True friends stab you in the FRONT. (Oscar Wilde)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 10
ooh, that made me teary-eyed! i love oscar wilde, the poem was a great dedication!
"All for one and one for all- that is our motto, is it not?"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
That was very sweet and really did describe Oscar Wilde. And, even though it was primarily ryhming, the poem had a rythm. I love rythmic poetry.

I don't think there's anything for you to improve here so ... bravo and keep it up.
"I'm an actress, not a beauty." -from the movie, Stage Beauty



more fish is always superior to less fish
— Shady