Pistol Grip
Scene I
JULIE
Didn’t I tell you to bring more ammo?
Didn’t I tell you? And did you bring it? No…
ALAN
Ooo-oooo, look who fits into a size twelve
chemical war-fare suit and I take it back your
ass does look fat.
JULIE
My what?
ALAN
Nothing, nothing…
ARIES
That’s a lie. (turns to Julie) He said your ass looks fat.
JULIE
How dare you – you sophomoric—
CASSANDRA
Will the two of you shut your traps, arguing isn’t going
to get us anywhere.
ARIES
Actually it would.
CASSANDRA
No it wouldn’t. It just makes you happier.
ARIES’S GRINS
‘Cause for godssakes pleasing you is the only
reason us lowly humans are alive.
ARIES
Damn straight.
CASSANDRA grinds her teeth.
CASSANDRA
So this is fun. I’m stuck on a planet, with two
sickeningly annoying fuck-tards, and an overly
hormonal chick with perfect breasts.
ARIES
Well that’s a backhanded comment if I don’t
know what is.
JULIE
Uh, guys, we still have no ammo.
CASSANDRA
Fuck me. And no Alan that wasn’t an offer.
ARIES
So, who’s up fer android huntin’?
Scene II
ARIES
This one’s dead. This one’s dead. This one’s dead.
CASSANDRA
Ooo, and let me guess ‘This one’s dead.’
ARIES’S GLARES
ALAN
(turning over a dead body) That sucks.
JULIE
I wonder if there is going to be funeral.
CASSANDRA
I doubt it.
ARIES
(Starts to lift a body) This one’s heavy.
ALAN
How heavy?
CASSANDRA narrows her eyes.
CASSANDRA
When somebody dies you don’t ask the weight of the corpse.
ALAN
What does he care? He’s dead.
