World's Tears

World’s tears
Raining down, washing clean
Purify
The perverse, distorted, ugly mass
Of the earth as we have made it

Dark’ning clouds
Block the sun
Shadow the world in drizzly twilight
Darkness moving, shifting, rising
Filling the world with endless night

Blowing winds
Lash, whip, tear
Find the seams, find the cracks
And pull
Winds of change
Pulling the world apart

As I read through the poem the first time, I thought that the tone was sort of sad. The second time I read it, I found that the first stanza was sort of happy, but not really. The rest of the poem was sort of sad, because What you said is partially true. But I'm not sure. I enjoyed it! keep writing!!!!!!!!!!

What is the tone meant to be?


$Searria H.$

I have no idea. Really. I wrote it on a bored, rainy day in school.

First of all, I want to say that I loved it. Ya I know. Loved it? I didn't even know what it meant and I was the one that wrote it! But see, here is how I took it. The first paragraph is talking about how the rain is cleansing the earth from the ruble and despair we create. The rain being someone or something that makes us change our "destructive" ways of living. The next stanza two stanzas would be about the hardships of changing.

That is just what it means to me, so no worries if I'm totally off target.

But as for the poem, I feel like it needs to be... rearranged maybe? It just doesn't quite feel right. Poetry is not my specialty when it comes to critiquing so sorry if I'm not much help. I just thought that I would let you know that someone out there enjoyed it.

-Sid

Wow, I had totally forgotten this thing was on here. You honor me by noticing it, Sid, and I do appreciate your comments, but truly, this thing should have been scrapped ages ago. Glad you liked it, though!

Scrapped? I think not! This is really, very good. I love these sorts of poems. And, I understood it [kinda] which makes it better. Because there are a lot of poems i don't understand.

I enjoyed reading it, because this is exactly the kind of poems I enjoy reading. And writing.

So anyway, well done!

xoxo
-Caitlin

It amazes me how many people on here say they like this thing--all it really is to me is a combonation of a bad mood, a rainy day, and far too much time on my hands. I guess I shouldn't keep rejecting nice things though...*thinks*.......thanks guys!

Okay, I don't have much time so I'm not sure what other people have put so if I repeat I'm sorry.

I like the poem, I really did, but just a few thing might make it better.

1) In the first stanza, the separate word purify upset the flow a bit. It works, but try adding a word or to, or try to get the message across by changing it. Um, maybe, something simple like "It purifies" might make it flow a little better.

2) There are places in the poem where you stop, you should put a period. Just read threw it and you'll find them easy.

That's all I can see at this point, so keep it up.