Houdini

Houdini (the guinea pig)

Quiet and Sweet
Cute little feet
Black and white
Never fights
Sits in laps
Takes short naps
Scurries around
Working off pounds

Cleaning cages
Chewed up pages,
Nibbled fingers
Smells that linger
Shedding hair
--Everywhere!
Up all night
Til morning light

Cute poem, but really nothing special that grabbed me. It sounded just like a description of a guinea pig, which can easily be written about in prose. Maybe interweave some special story in this poem, or at least use more enticing language. Keep writing!

Yes! Cute poem. Adorable. I love the rhyming. Great job.

Thanks, I wrote this in school. We're doing a lot of poetry at the moment.

It's nice to know that this poem turned out a lot better than my other one!

Hi Searria,

As has been said: cute poem. I like your descriptions, and the rhyming captures the simplicity and playfulness of a guinea pig.

I have two issues with the poem:

1. The varying singularity and plurality of the line endings bothers me a bit. (i.e. "around" and "pounds", and "fingers" and "linger") But I don't know how you could change it, unless you talk about several guinea pigs. It's not a big issue, because your rhymes are still well-chosen.

2. The ending feels too abrupt to me. Is there any way you could finish off the poem with another couple of lines or another short verse to summarise how you feel about Houdini or how playful guinea pigs are, or something like that?

I do like the poem, and I have noticed that your poetry has improved in a relatively short amount of time.

Keep writing!

Aww this was so sweet! i have a guines pig and you described the little furry things wonderfully i love the lingering smells bit lol, and nibbled pages - my guines pig loves carrots and he needs to lose a few pounds! keep up the good work!
xGraceex

Thanks everybody.
Yeah, My guinea pig used to be really fat, but now he's really sick with something, so he's really thin. He's hanging in there though!

guinea pigs.....why are they called that? They're rodents right?