Pompadour's Review Parlour

Pssst! Click on the spoiler for the weird intro!

Spoiler

As you enter the parlour, you notice the mist fading away; the colourful welcome sign that you saw above is no more than an illusion--a tatty, cardboard cut-out takes its place, and you shiver as you observe your bleak surroundings. A moth-eaten sofa is slumped against the wall, huddled up against the corner, almost as if it were afraid of something. The floorboards creak, and you notice that several of them have split apart. You're afraid to tread on them for fear that they'll give way. Dust fills the air, heaving and sighing and weighing down on everything.

In the middle of the room is an empty chair.

"Welcome."

You back-track immediately, the moment you hear her voice rasping through the gloom. You place your hand on the wall, searching frantically for the doorknob that was there mere seconds ago--but it's not there now.

And the chair is not empty any more. A single figure sits there, her face chalky-white, her fingernails scraping at the dead wood. You gasp involuntarily, and your heart drums a steady beat against your ribs. The figure leans forward, her gash of a mouth opening slightly; she says,

"Want a cookie?"

The world turns to dust.

To business, then.

What I will review:

Novel chapters. I'll read anything, as long as it doesn't have explicit sexual content. When it comes to genre, I'm not picky, although I'm not too keen on teen-fiction. I'll be honest with you in my reviews, and I'll be thorough. However, I will not review a chapter from the middle of your novel unless I have read the previous ones, so please don't ask me to review Chapter Fourteen of Read My Story if I haven't even read Chapter One! I'll read historical fiction, and also make sure to have background knowledge on your time period before I get started.

Fan-fictions. ONLY Harry Potter, The Book Thief and The Hunger Games. I will not review fiction about which I am not wholly confident, either in characterization or in plot.

Short-stories, scripts and essays. Throw 'em all at me. (I might choose not to comment on the subject-matter if the topic of the essay is controversial. Just a heads-up.)

Poetry. I'm no whiz at reviewing poetry, but I shall take a look at symbolism, meaning and flow. Meaning I shall try.

Terms and conditions:

Please, please please be patient. It might take me as long as a week to review, because frankly, as much as I'd love to, I don't live on YWS. I'll be reasonable, though, and if a week passes and I haven't reviewed, feel free to poke me.

I won't review a work that has received more than three or four decent, in-depth reviews.

Three's a nice number, heh. I actually have no more conditions, but do remember to post a link of your work below as well.

And tha's about it.

EDIT: Up and running again as of Nov 2015~

If you have the time and if typing in a little review doesn't make your coffee go cold, then here -

I see the patience of Chinars in winter...

(This is an old poem but I haven't got an "in-depth" review yet, so... yup.)

@shoaib , done!

*cracks knuckles* Who's next?

Hey!

Since you want to review fantasy, I have something for you. My work might be long(ish), but I don't have way too many chapters out. First ones have enough reviews, but I'd like you to at least read them before skipping further on.

But I've got special request. I'm not sure where I want to go with writing. I ask you to be absolutely sincere with your review. If Im really, really bad just say it. I just want to know if I should write for hobby or might give it some bigger chance.
Think you can do it?

Here is a link to my prologue, others are there in the portoflo, as well as a complete plot to my story, which you can freely judge as well! The Siege, Prologue: Insane?

-Alchemist

*enters Parlour*
*takes in aroma*

ah, okay.

Love in the time of Curfew

All done!

Keep 'em coming, folks.

Hi there. I was wondering whether you'd be willing to take a look at the (first part of) the first chapter of Monachopsis?

It is a fanfiction, BUT. I'm looking to have it reviewed basically as independent fiction, because 1. the fandom is reallymegasuper obscure and practically nobody knows it, and 2. it's gone through enough permutations of world-building and character development that it's only tangentially related to the musical it originally sprang from.

I'd be really psyched if you're up for it, but I'll understand completely if you're not.

Hats!
I know it isn't in your nature to be silly (heh heh) but I thought you might make an exception and read this

I know you say that you won't review things that already have quite a few reviews, but all I'm really asking is that you answer a question for me. Please? Thanks.
The Story of Monoceros
If this was a picture book, would you buy it for your child? Why or why not?

It's been a while! I'm open to reviews, so give me things to devour~

*bumps*

I'd like a review on a poem I just posted!
TRIGGER WARNING: Content about abuse

Father Doesn't Like The Noise

Thanks!

@Pompadour

Opening this place again! *bumps*

Hey! I'd like to have your feedback about A Broken Soul for You and Me because you're such a poetry wiz!

Done!

Heya Pompei. I would love if you could give me a review for my newly published short story. I'm thinking about maybe turning it into a novella, but it would be much appreciated to hear your feedback:

Test of Freedom