zoeybird13024

I see I didn't do quite as well as I'd hoped. ^^ Much better, though, much better! I can't really change the paragraphing problems--that's not how I have it saved ...

(I love discussing history with you :grin:) Disinfectants were invented during the 1800s--I had to write a paper about Joseph Lister and carbolic acid. (Listerine got it's name from him!!!) ...

Beautiful and wicked! I was just singing "Wicked" songs a minute ago and this poem reminded me of Elphaba. (But enough about me!) I don't have any nitpicks whatsoever with ...

Thanks! Wow, no nitpicks so far? That's a record for me! ^^

Awww, I loved it! I could see a handful of M&Ms as I read this poem! The rhyming added and kept a wonderful flow to this poem--it was nice and ...

That was two things: a good rap AND a good poem! You get extra points from me for that! That was amazing--I found nothing wrong with this poem at all! ...

The only advice I can give? Work on it. It's much too little to even try and critique. So work on it. Often. A lot. As much as you can. ...

I'm better with history than I thought...haha... I picked up "Alexius" from the Russian name "Alexy". I changed it to "Alexi" and then to "Alexius". "Rin" is a nickname--her name ...

Was my hint to the Roman Empire "Barcelona"? Barcelona is in Spain, not Italy. I think that's what you meant about my hint to I correct?

Yeah, I had a different sound effect in there at first, and that didn't work. So I tried this one...and it still didn't sound right. I mentioned the Roman Empire? ...

Much better!!! Much more original. But she dies in this one...? Is she dead or just unconscious?

Thank you, both of you!!! And... I revised it. Completely. Well, not ALL 40 pages of it, but just the first three you two read. Everyone that read it kept ...

No, no, you were actually very clear! Thank you! I'm not surprised (or upset) that I received so much criticism for this particular part of The Arms Dealer, just because ...