yombleflobber

Yes, that was much better, in my opinion. You have better pacing here and I actually got to know your character a little better, bravo. You still have kinks to ...

Well, it's sort like the princess-locked-in-a-tower thing, but not quite. My main idea for this was from an article they (I don't recall who) did on Best Men and the ...

In the immortal words of my brother: "Shorts shouldn't be so short you can see the pockets."

Ah, I misunderstood the character shift there. I didn't notice that the characters in the second half were different people. I kinda would've thought Mel might call the police, but ...

Hmm, mostly anything that isn't a person or a regular animal. Like maybe legendary creatures like the Loch Ness Monster or Chupacabra or something. Human transformation is good, too. Not ...

Thank you, I'll try to correct some of this stuff. The thing about embellishment, though, is that to embellish something is to dress it up with fictitious elements. I'm pretty ...

Thank you for your criticisms, Walker. I'll take them into account. I can't do very much with the length, as it's in a contest and is supposed to be less ...

Mysterious...You have some good imagery here, and the emotions are well-conveyed. I look forward to reading the next part.

Made me feel warm and cozy inside. The descriptions are evocative and vivid; I felt like I was in a little cottage, falling asleep by the hearth...