xxbwiismexx

I think the rhymes are beautiful and it gives such a powerful message. Though I feel that the flow was choppy and a bit random at some lines. Also, the ...

But part of me id beyond caring Id shouldbe is, thats all I could see for you to fix. It's definately a good start and you should keep going with ...

You can feel the characters sadness through the words, but you can also feel her joy in her memories. Theres a sense in your words of something ending, as well ...

I personally really like it! It's really mysterious so far, which is always good in a piece of writing. You've definately got me interested! I also love your character's name ...