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Re: The Black Key; or, How I Love my Lovers /P
Brad, This is ambitious, which is a good thing, but for me unsuccessful. It falls down on the basics. First, where’s the hook? Even after three paragraphs you don’t give ...
Oct 17, 2006 -
Re: A really rough start... But would you read it if refined.
Hey! This is REALLY REALLY good! I can't believe you're only 15 - you definitely have your own voice in your fiction, which sometimes takes so so long to establish. ...
Oct 12, 2006 -
Re: I said oh! aren't ~ aren't you God? Hello. Sir.
I have to agree largely with Brad here. I get that you want there to be havoc, but in doing so you outcast the reader and make the piece inaccessible. ...
Oct 11, 2006 -
Re: Remix of an older poem
I really liked parts of this. For example the last four lines to close are monumental. The biggest problem I have is it’s setting in the larger scheme of things ...
Oct 11, 2006