windrattlestheblinds

I like this! The sort of choppy, disjointed prose works very well to convey what Violet’s feeling, and the way the single-sentence paragraphs get more and more frequent toward the ...

I think you’ve got a pretty solid opening. I like that you hold off on the supernatural reveal until the second paragraph—it packs more punch that way. And I LOVE ...

This is interesting, because I can’t actually tell what angle you’re going for with this story, the “decent thawing sociopath” one or the “abysmally foolish young woman throws herself into ...

I like this! I’ll admit—because I’m cynical—that when I started reading Andrew’s little speech about how he bullied Belle because he ~liked~ her and his friends just pressured him into ...

The first thing I thought reading this was that I feel like the narrative goes overboard with the detailed description. I don’t think any of it is pointless, so much ...

I really like this opening paragraph. It’s masterful. Promise of potential murder grabs attention immediately, and then the second sentence begins to answer the question of “WHO ARE THEM”, and ...

Opening paragraph feels vague to me. “I never knew how interesting the truth could be until the day my future self came into my life”? Awesome opening line. It’s clear, ...