-
Re: Grafitti
Hello! good job on the story! very gripping! you do use a lot of sentences starting with I, which is something i do is well if im trying to narrarate ...
Jun 18, 2014 -
Re: Frozen Fan-Fiction
Hello! Very good job! Really like how you choose to end it. You really captured that sisterly relationship you get in the movie. I love that you showed elsas caring ...
Jun 17, 2014 -
Re: The Cottage
Hello! Very good job! I really liked how you portrayed the girl and her attitude. I liked how you focused on her inner thoughts. I would have liked to see ...
Jun 17, 2014 -
Re: Flirtatious Glances, Secret Desires (Excerpt)
Hello! very nice job on the overall story! nice dialouge, good characters. i like that you went with the teacher and the student being romantically involved, thats always a good ...
Jun 17, 2014 -
Re: The Wolves Prey - The Deer gets the last laugh
Hello! very good job! i like the message and overall story. i would have made it clearer with the sentence structure so you can tell where one sentence ends and ...
Jun 17, 2014 -
Re: Dog Hero
Hello! very nicely done! i would have liked to see some indentations with dialouge. very good job portraying the mind and views of a dog. very good balance of discriptiveness. ...
Jun 16, 2014 -
Re: Robbery
Hello! I love the beginning, really draws the reader in. You did a very nice job setting the scene and giving it its emotion. You could indent whenever you have ...
Jun 14, 2014
